The ego is that part in us which feeds off praise, compliments and success. When we live in the ego we are inevitably subject to feelings of superiority / inferiority, pride and worthlessness, success and failure. If we want to avoid these negative emotions we need to transcend the ego. If we can transcend the ego, we will find that people are instinctively more attracted to us, even though we are no longer trying to impress. It may seem a great paradox, yet, limiting the role of our ego can make a radical difference to our lives.
These are some factors which can reduce the power of the Ego.
1. Don’t Try to impress
Don’t Speak about Your Own achievements. Don’t drop names of great people you have met. Avoid forcing your accomplishments and success into the conversation. If you have been successful in accumulating wealth, try to keep quiet about it. All these factors may impress your own ego, but, you can guarantee they will have little impact on other people.
2. Be aware of False Modesty.
Sometimes when we say. “O I’m absolutely hopeless”. Actually what we are wanting is for people to respond. ‘O no your not, your really good.” Humility means that we don’t take excessive pride in our achievements, but, it also means we don’t exaggerate our failings in the hope of gaining sympathy.
3. Be Careful of Flattery.
We need to be careful about receiving praise, in some-ways it can be as difficult as receiving criticism. The problem is that the ego likes receiving praise and so we can easily become addicted to being flattered. Don’t seek out people who are keen to flatter us, as this is only feeding the ego. Also, be wary of flattering other people in the hope that they will return the compliment.
4. Don’t use your religion / spirituality to impress.
It is a mistake to feel that the practise of a religion / spiritual path gives us a moral superiority over other people. If we feel any superiority we are missing the whole point of spirituality. Spirituality is about a feeling of oneness not of proving that one path is better than others. This can be one of the most insidious types of ego. This is because when we wrap up the ego in a sense of moral superiority, we can easily trick ourselves into thinking we are reducing the ego, when actually we are strengthening it.
5. Be Aware of the extended Ego.
Ego, is not just about feeling we are better than others. Our Ego can also be expressed via national / religious feeling. When we feel a pride or superiority in our religion / nation, there is still the same problem of ego but, it is expressed through an extended sense of reality. This sense of superiority / pride is just as damaging as if it was contained to ourselves. However, we can feel that because it is not directly related to ourselves, somehow there is no ego involved.
6. Don’t Speak badly of Others.
Quite often, when we speak ill of others there is a subtle attempt to make ourselves look better. We may not explicitly say it, but, when we point to someone’s shortcomings we imply that we don’t have these, and therefore we are much better than them. The important thing here is the motive. Be very vigilant; what is your inner motive for criticising someone else? If it is to make you feel / look better, be very careful. The irony of course is that when we criticise someone, often we have the same imperfections ourselves, it is just that we find it easier to see them in other people.
7. What is Your Motivation for Doing Something?
If nobody knew that you had done it, would you still do the action with the same intensity? Can you work without expecting reward and praise? If you can do things selflessly with no desire for people to find out, this is a sign you do not give importance to the ego. If you only do things in the hope of praise, then you are working to satisfy the ego. The sad thing is that if you really work selflessly, at some point, your efforts will receive much greater recognition because people will come to also value the selfless motivation behind the action. Try doing some things but not let anybody no about it. In the NT, this is what Jesus meant when he said. “and with you left hand.
8. Don’t rely on Your Physical Appearance to Impress.
If you rely on your physical beauty to impress this is definitely coming from the ego. This is not to see beauty is bad thing, far from it. But, real beauty is heightened by modesty and the absence of ego. Avoid paying excessive interest to your physical looks.
To reduce our ego, we have to give great importance to our thoughts and motivation behind our actions. We have to be very strict with ourselves and work out why we are doing something. To reduce the ego, requires great vigilence, we need to reflect on each action and motivation. However, to reduce the influence of the ego, is of great value, it is the key to achieving a sense of inner peace.
If you have any other tips for reducing the ego, I would be interested in hearing them!
28 comments ↓
I love this site, especially the layout and the pictures. I’m very visual and they bring me peace.
Thanks Jean,
I took this photo in Christ Church Meadow, Oxford.
I’m not sure it relates to the article, but, I thought it was a nice picture
Wow! All of this makes SO much sense! I could have never seen the relation of ego with so many different character flaws we can have! Thanks for the great post.
These are excellent points. But I wonder if just deciding to bring them into your behavior would actually result in your successfully implementing them. I personally have found myself struggling with it for a long time now. The biggest problem is that I realize that I have behaved under the influence of my ego only after I have already done it. If only I would realize it right at the time when I am doing it.
Thanks Kashmira!
A.Singh > You are quite right - it is one thing to talk about reducing the ego, it is another thing to do it.
But, slowly and gradually we can make an improvement. First we need to be aware of the tricks the ego can use.
great blog! i loved the images and their peaceful
silence. i was wondering though about teachings that have a lot of “don’t do this”, “don’t do that”. sometimes it seems like a poem can tell us a lot more about ego dissolution than assertive discourse. maybe because it speaks through communion and contemplation, which is (un)precisely the place of ego dissolution. what do you think?
“love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places
yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds”
e.e. cummings, 1935
Ok… I have been thinking about this. I feel that it is not really important what we “do” or we “don’t do”. It would be good if we do the right thing because then we would save ourselves from the pain of (eventual) guilt, but it does not really take us far in the direction of reducing the ego. The primary factor in my view is to tackle the problem at a more basic level. We have to observe the thoughts that are colored with ego. As we become more and more aware about the existence of these thoughts, the ego-free actions would naturally follow. There would be no struggle.
Hmm…. When I read my posted comment again, it seems that I am somehow undermining the importance of this post. That is not my intention. One would be aware of his “ego-based” thoughts only after he is aware of is “ego-based” actions. This post very clearly shows us how to identify those actions and then try to identify the thoughts that led to those actions.
Be Happy and peaceful
Hi A, Singh, I appreciate your comments.
thanks
tejvan
[...] How to Reduce the Ego - at Sri Chinmoy Inspiration [...]
Hey, nice work. Seems we are kindred spirits. Please come visit my Yahoo group to see what I’m doing. I am working with the Enlightened Indian Master, Osho. Do you know who he is? Also, I invite you all to visit and join our new International website, http://www.oshobuddha.com
love,
subhuti
[...] Pettinger presents How to Reduce the Ego. posted at Sri Chinmoy Inspiration, saying, “How to reduce your ego, the genuine way to [...]
[...] How to Reduce the Ego - generated good discussion, one of my favourite articles [...]
You might be interested in some teachings on the ego which are easy to follow, and similar to your own thinking.
http://www.askrealjesus.com/Q_OVERCOMEEGO/AAEgomain.html
. Kind regards , Barbara.
what do you think of methods such as LSD to dissolute the ego
I think that chemicals cannot not change our fundamental nature. They may give a temporary experience, where we get a feeling of ‘liberation’ But after the effects have worn off, we have the same attitude, same thoughts e.t.c. If you could dissolve the ego with LSD, there would be an awful lot more liberated souls
great ,i like it
it was good relaxing reading and practical too !
thank you
Sunanda
Alll this goes hand in hand with what i am reading at the moment, Scott Peck’s The Road Less Travelled. Thanks
[...] How To reduce the Ego [...]
[...] How To Reduce Ego [...]
Tejvan,
That’s a great list. Thank you for sharing a number of techniques that have been very effective in your experience.
I just wrote an article on the same subject. It’s been linked to in this post.
Some of the most effective techniques I’ve discovered thus far including surrendering attachments, merging with everything, consciously recognizing the ego and choosing to let it go, maintaining a continuous state of present awareness, and choosing to maintain a connection to the Divine Oneness.
I really appreciate your additional methods you’ve shared here, as well as this entire site you’ve created. It feels very peaceful and still. Your creation reflects your inner state of being.
Namaste,
Ariel
Good work.
all enlightened masters have the same message “come back to you home, towards your inner source from where this world has originated.
i would like to bring in your notice one beautifukl website which contains messages of many masters like Osho, Buddha, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, Ramakrishna http://www.messagefrommasters.com
the site provides link to download books of enlightened masters and books of Osho at
http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Ebooks/Osho_Books.htm
enjoy the divine nectar
love
shiva
This is a great weblink, I’ve been looking for information on the ‘ego’ and why and how to reduce it.
Very useful.
quick message for A Singh you mentioned
‘The biggest problem is that I realize that I have behaved under the influence of my ego only after I have already done it. If only I would realize it right at the time when I am doing it.’
As a suggestion a great way to realize ‘in the moment’ is to make yourself consciously aware of all the choices you make no matter how small or big, not only is this a very powerful exercise but it also provides quite a lot person enlightenment. It does take practice though and although at the moment you comment you are only aware afterwards, then at least you are conscious and aware afterwards, which is a step towards being more conscious any-way.
Hope this make sense and help.
Best wishes,
Stephen.
Hello Everybody,
I’m quite new to this website, but find it very useful and would like to ask a few questions.
I’ve recently (4mths aog) started practicing yoga and meditation on a daily basis for many different reasons and have been on a spiritual journey for sometime. I can certainly relate to some of the techniques mentioned above, ie detachment and the power this has.
Most recently I’ve wanted to learn more about my true self, identity and the reasons for reducing my ego and being in touch with the self.
Could anyone recommend any good books to read on these specific subjects, I would be most greatful.
Namaste,
Stephen.
this is very mind blowing site as well as mind-blasting.
u gave me a knowing look in every aspects of ife.
wonderful.
thnx.
Dear Stephen
If you want to know more in depth about Ego and human mind,please visit this link and listen to OSHO discourses(http://www.oshoworld.com/discourses/audio_eng.asp?Cat=B)
Here you can start downloading the book of wisdom and start listening.Believe me it is worth listening them.
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