Author: tejvan

In our recent post – Who Am I? We looked at the idea of transcending the ego.

However, as a reader pointed out – is it not better to understand the ego from a peaceful perspective rather than abolishing the ego?

I would suggest that to transcend the ego completely is a very lofty goal; and in practice very difficult. It is one thing to say ‘I will transcend all concept of ego’, but, to do it is a completely different matter.

In the beginning we need to be wise and deal with our present limitations. We should not expect to transcend our ego with a few meditations; it is like thinking about doing a master’s course whilst we are still in primary school. To graduate with a Master’s degree we need to go through all the levels of schooling before we can even begin to start our Master’s course. It is the same with spirituality. Just thinking of the idea of Nirvana doesn’t really help, because it is so far from our present stage of evolution. What we can do is to gradually change our nature. We can gradually become less selfish, materialistic and inward looking. We can consider the needs of others and try to expand our consciousness. If we can develop humility, simplicity and selflessness, then slowly we will transform our nature. Rather than trying to completely transcend the ego; we make the ego less selfish. This is an effective way to make progress. When we work on our ego, there will come a point in the future, when we can make the leap to transcending the ego.

Dealing With Conflicts in Relationships

A strong ego can often cause conflicts in relationships. In this guest post at Pick The Brain,– How To Deal with Conflicts in Relationships I looked at a few strategies to improve our relationships with others.

How to Reduce the Ego – Another post looking at how to reduce the ego.

Picture courtesy of Australian World Harmony Run 2008

Who Am I?

There was a great Spiritual Teacher called Sri Ramana Maharshi. When he was 16 years old, he became mortified at the prospect of dying. The whole concept of death filled him with dread and misgiving. This led him to question the nature of life, and the self which could be paralysed with fear. Ramana Maharshi began meditating for several hours a day – enabling him to overcome the fear of death.

His quest for self discovery was so profound he left his home village and travelled to the mountain of Arunachala in the South of India. For several years Ramana Maharshi, maintained only the weakest connection with the world, spending his time rapt in meditation. Later in his life people were drawn to this very simple sage; feeling in his presence an aura of peace. He spoke very little – preferring to teach in silence. However, when he did speak he taught a very simple path of self inquiry. Ramana Maharshi directed people to ask themselves this question – Who Am I? He said if we could only discover who we really are, all our problems would be solved.

Where Did Your Thought Come From?

If you have a thought – Who is it that thinks that particular thought? Sometimes we have positive thoughts – “I am great” “I am better than everyone else” At other times we have the opposite frame of mind and we are overcome with insecurities; we feel useless and guilty. The mind is volatile – sometimes we feel we are the best, over times we feel wholly inadequate. But, which is true? The answer is that these neither of these thoughts are a reflection of who we really are. These thoughts and feelings are transitory and do not reflect our true nature. The fact that thoughts come and go show that there must be something deeper; something that can decide to hold onto thoughts or reject them. It is this inner self at the root of thoughts we need to find. Continue reading “Who Am I?”

Another month flies by. These are some of our articles from the past 4 weeks.

• Things I have learnt from Meditation
• Slow down Fast
• Life lessons you can learn from children
• Avoiding Misunderstanding
• Keeping Many projects going at Once
• Happiness from the Inside out
• How To Avoid becoming a grumpy old man
• Exploring the essence of human goodness

Related

• Best of April
• Best of February

Photo by Pavitrata Taylor, Sri Chinmoy Centre galleries

In the UK, there is a TV series ‘Grumpy Old Men’ I think it is supposed to be a comedy programme, where middle aged men rant and complain about everything from the price of petrol to the overbearing popularity of American Idol. In a way their complaints are mildly amusing, but, it did get me thinking – Is that how I want to be in 20-30 years – always complaining and being grumpy? Often we see people who, in their early life, have a sympathetic, hopeful and positive mind. But, 30 years later, those positive qualities have slowly been eroded and replaced with a propensity towards being grumpy, miserable and negative. How can we ensure that we avoid the ‘grumpy old man’ syndrome and remain positive throughout our advancing years?

Don’t Get Stuck in a Rut

When we get stuck in a rut, life seems listless and boring. When there is no newness in life we have more time to observe the failings of others, ourselves and the world. If we are always complaining about the same things in life, try to do something different. Unfortunately, it is possible to develop a subtle enjoyment of being negative. The mind gets a certain misplaced pleasure by being grumpy and complaining. But, this kind of happiness is extremely limited. Look for ways to observe life in a new way; remain dynamic and don’t leave yourself time to become overwhelmed with negativity. If necessary, force yourself to try a completely new skill or activity. – Ten Tips to get out of a rut

Don’t Get Exasperated Over Things You Have No Control.

If the price of oil increases, there is not much you can do about it. Just because you incessantly complain about the price of oil, Saudi Arabia is not going to start producing an extra 10 million barrels a day. If you get upset things like this, you will invariably make yourself miserable. To some extent, we have to be accepting of external things beyond our control. For example, Governments always have and always will do things which are popular; we can’t expect this to change. But, what we can do is change our attitude. Rather than getting worked up by these things, we can develop a greater sense of detachment. Don’t allow your life to be dominated by complaints on the outside world.

Have Perspective of Young Child

We never refer to ‘grumpy young children’. True, a child may may have a temporary bad mood; but, they will soon shake it off. To a child the world is simple and a place of wonder. Life is not complicated but something to enjoy. A child does not spend his time criticising things, he just plays and enjoys life. The problem is that we feel that because we are sophisticated adults we must be much better. But, how is it progress if we move from a positive attitude to a miserable attitude? It doesn’t matter how old we are; what matters is our inner attitude. If we can feel we have a childlike heart it will help considerably in avoiding grumpiness. Even observing the simple smile of a child will help put a smile on our face. – Life Lessons we can learn from children

Leave Criticism To Others

Criticism and grumpiness are intricately linked. If we spend all our time criticising and gossiping about others, we will develop a negative mindset. The problem is that in this world it is easy to find things to criticise. The truth is we could spend all day judging and criticising other people and we would not have even made a start. The world is not going to change just because we sit in a pub criticising others. What happens is that as we criticise the world, it gives us a subconscious feeling of superiority and this motivates us to spend more time criticising. However, if we want real happiness, we have to take a positive attitude; looking for good things to encourage – making a positive contribution. The world does not need more grumpy old men. There are always going to be plenty of people to complain about the level of taxes; what we need is positive people who will help make a difference.

Continue reading “How to Avoid Becoming a Grumpy Old Man”

This post is based on a traditional Zen Story.

There was a Zen Master who used to invite his disciples to his house in order to meditate. The meditation was very soulful but unfortunately the Master owned a cat who used to come in and disturb the meditation. Therefore, before each meditation, the Master would tie up the cat to his bed; this would enable the master and his disciples to meditate in peace downstairs. After the Master’s passing, his students still used to come to the house to meditate and tie up the cat to the bed.

Now one seeker had to travel to another country and he didn’t return for another 5 years time. When he returned he was shocked to see that there were many more people coming to the Master’s house. However, they didn’t come to meditate, they only came to tie up cats to the bed. Even in such a short time the real purpose of the Master’s house had been forgotten. The seekers were concentrating only on the trivial ritual of tying up a cat to the bed; they had forgotten the essential part of coming to his house which was meditation.

This story is a humorous exaggeration of how we can forget the essence of things and concentrate on unimportant external actions.

It also shows how habit can be a limiting factor; just because we have always tied up a cat to the bed, we continue to do it. Because everyone else does it and we have been doing it for a long time we think it must be the right thing to do. But, of course, it would be much better to find the cat a better home and enable greater dedication to meditation.

Continue reading “Tying the Cat to the Bed and Missing The Essential”