Author: tejvan

Creating New Year Resolutions that Work

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The New Year is an excellent opportunity to take a fresh look at life. It is a time when we can resolve to make real changes to our life. However, sometimes it is easier to create resolutions, rather than actually make the lasting change. As we create new year resolutions, we also need to work out how we can make it part of our life long change.

What Good Habits Do you Need?

The key to New Year resolutions is to choose ones that you really need. Take an honest look at your life and decide where it could easily be improved. Often it is small issues and minor irritations that can spoil our day. For example, do you easily get angry for the smallest provocation? If that is the case make a resolution to control your anger. Often we don’t think of simple things like this, but, if we can resolve to improve in areas like this it will make a big difference to our quality of life.

What do You Wish to Achieve in 2008?

If you know what you wish to achieve, then work out the kind of resolutions that you will need. Be bold and willing to follow your heart’s aspirations, don’t just think of small changes – think how you can make a real difference to your life. Be prepared to make resolutions to aim for a completely new goal and change of life.

Give Them Importance

The success of new habits will depend upon how much importance that we give to them. What we value is given our energy and attention; if we constantly remind ourselves of our new targets and goals we will become more motivated to fulfil them. But, if we are not careful, habits can slip from our attention and therefore, we fail to make the change permanent. In this regard, it may be better to have a small number of resolutions that you are really going to work on, rather than a long list of speculative resolutions.

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On Holiday and Best of December

Beech sunrise

I am currently on holiday, in the Dominican republic. I thought lots of free time would make it easier to write, but, actually I find it is difficult to write and get access to internet at moment.
These are some recent posts from the last month.

Photo By Sharani

Practical Tips to Improve Concentration

leaf water jowan

This post is inspired by an email from a reader. The reader mentioned that he found it very difficult to concentrate. He felt his mind was ‘random and is in utter chaos’.

Firstly, you are not alone; generally it is the nature of the mind to be unruly. However, it is possible to slowly and steadily improve your concentration. Do not expect instant results, and do not get despondent if it is more difficult than you would like. Perseverance is important. These are some tips:

Some Places are more conducive to concentration.

Some students have great difficulty working in certain environment’s yet, when they are placed under timed conditions in an exam hall they often find concentration much easier. If you are getting distracted in one place, trying working somewhere else. Generally, the less distractions the better.

One Pointedness

With any form of concentration it is important to concentrate on only one thing at a time. If you are working, but half your attention is elsewhere, you will always struggle to maintain good concentration. Set aside time for work and focus only on that and nothing else. You need to make a conscious decision to concentrate on your work. If you just drift into work, with a relaxed care free attitude you will probably start thinking about other things. If you sit an exam, feel that nothing else exists or matters apart from doing the exam.

Don’t Allow Thoughts to take you away.

This is the key to concentration – don’t allow your mind to distract you with random thoughts. When unrelated thoughts appear in the mind, pay no attention to them and try to immediately switch off. Even if thoughts keep coming, you must distance yourself and detach from them. It is important not to get mad with yourself or frustrated if thoughts are persistent. If you persevere in rejecting useless and unhelpful thoughts, there will come a time when they stop bothering you. It is important never to give up in your attempt to control your thoughts – it is possible.

See: How To Control Your Thoughts

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Things which would change the World

joy

Do we need a revolution to change the world? It is suggested that the most effective way to change the world is to begin by changing ourselves. If these ideas gained greater acceptance, the world would unmistakably change for the better.

The Power of Love and the Love of Power.

When we love power, we seek to control other people, we seek to assert our supremacy. This love of power inevitably creates tension, conflict and disputes. The power of love does not seek to assert its supremacy; it seeks to create a feeling of oneness. When there is real love, we see our ‘enemy’ as merely an extended aspect of our own reality.

Oneness not division

Do we find reasons to always divide and separate ourself from other people? If someone makes a mistake we can take two different approaches:

  • The first is to judge and condemn them; we can have a feeling of moral superiority that we didn’t do that.
  • The other option is to feel that this is a mistake we could easily have made ourselves. With this approach, we have a feeling of oneness with others; we cannot get any joy from someone else’s misfortune so we wish to maintain a forgiving attitude.

Peace

To hope for peace is a beginning. To talk about peace is good. But, if people value peace more than anything else, what will we lose and what will we gain? We will losing our teeming conflict, misery and suffering. We will gain tremendous satisfaction and happiness. The nature of peace is to spread; when we have inner peace we will help spread peace to other people. But, if within we have only dissatisfaction and inner turmoil, this is what we will extend to the rest of the world.

“The greatest misfortune that can come to a human being is to lose his inner peace. No outer force can rob him of it. It is his own thoughts, his own actions, that rob him of it.”

Sri Chinmoy (1)

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Sacrifice for a Friend

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In the fifteenth Century, Bengal, India, there was a young scholar, Raghunath, who wished to be the greatest philosopher of his age. He worked very hard to try and be the most respected teacher and philosopher in his region.

Once Raghunath went for a boat trip with his best friend. His friend had written a short book of philosophy. This book was the acme of perfection. With great erudition and clarity he had resolved all the philosophical problems. On reading this book, Raghunath, started to weep because he now knew that he would now never be the greatest scholar. His friend asked Raghunath, why are you so miserable? Raghunath replied “I always wanted to be the greatest scholar, but, on reading this I know I never will be. It far surpasses anything I am capable of. It is concise, clear and original.”

His friend said ‘Is that all? Then do not weep, me dear brother. I don’t care to be a great philosopher; Philosophy will never give me the satisfaction I am looking for. I care infinitely more for the happiness of my friend.” His friend then took the book and casually threw this great work into the river.

Raghunath went on to be the first authority on this branch of philosophy. His friend was Sri Chaitanya. Sri Chaitanya was a devotee of the highest order; on repeating sacred mantras he would slip into spiritual ecstasy. Sri Chaitanya cared nothing for worldly praise and worldly success; he only wanted to remain immersed in the inner delight of constant communion with his beloved – Sri Krishna. Sri Chaitanya would later renounce the world and took the life of a wandering mendicant constantly chanting the name of Hari (Krishna). The devotion and love of Sri Chaitanya (Gauranga) revitalised the tradition of Bhakti in India. Continue reading “Sacrifice for a Friend”

How To Boost Your Self Esteem

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If you struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, these are some suggestions to gain self confidence and increased self-esteem.

Remember the Good, forget the Bad

If we are honest with ourselves we will notice that all humans are a mixture of bad qualities and good qualities. However, perhaps out of a sense of false modesty, we are more prone to remember our mistakes and weaknesses. It is this that makes us feel guilty and worthless. But, in this situation, we are doing ourself a disservice; true we have made some mistakes, but, we have also done many good things. We should make a conscious effort to remember our good qualities and selfless actions to others. If we have made mistakes, learn from them, but, don’t allow them to drag you down with feelings of guilt. – Let go and move on.

Detach from Criticism

You can’t avoid getting criticised, but, it is upto you whether you let it disturb your peace of mind. It is no one other than yourself who can rob you of inner peace. If you receive criticism, don’t let it disturb your peace of mind. Feel it is criticising only an aspect of your character – an aspect you can easily improve. If the criticism is unjust, pay no attention to it. Just leave it with the other person.

Stop Procrastinating

Often feelings of inadequacy occur during periods of great procrastination. Rather than doing anything positive, we just think of all the things we haven’t done. Here it is easy to get into a negative frame of mind, thinking of all the things we should be doing, but haven’t. The cure for this is quite simple. – Stop procrastinating and start to achieve certain targets. As soon as we are actively working towards something we will have much greater self confidence.

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Where is Your Life Heading?

alaska palyati

Are you heading to nowhere in particular ? Do you think where you will be in 5 years and get depressed at the thought?

These are some suggestions on how to look anew at the direction of your Life.

Are You doing what other people want you to do?

Either consciously or unconsciously we place great value on the expectations and peer pressure of other people. This may be our friends, families or just society. This kind of peer pressure can be very confining; it limits our aspirations and actions. However, there is no guarantee that what society expects from us is what our soul wants to do. Great innovators and thinkers have to go beyond the narrow confines of society. Never feel guilty for following your inner instincts and inner voice. If people disapprove, so be it. It is a mistake to our life be dictated by the aspirations of other people.

Do you have a sense of dissatisfaction?

Does life feel a constant grind, with limited chance for satisfaction? If there we have no newness in life, dissatisfaction inevitably comes. Avoid repeating the same old routines, especially if they offer no chance for creativity or personal satisfaction. Don’t be resigned to a life of boredom and negativity. Look to re-energise your life.

Do you feel Limited by Your Circumstances?

When things don’t go well; when we have a sense of dissatisfaction – we tend to blame society and external circumstances beyond our control. However, if we spend our time complaining and blaming other people, we become helpless and hopeless. Whatever hand fate deals we should not feel this is our final destination. We can shape and mold our destiny, we just have to be willing to take responsibility for our lives.

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

– Thomas Jefferson

Do you have unfulfilled Dreams and Ambitions?

I know a few people in their 30s and they say. O I’ve made the wrong choices. I’ve lost my chance to do what I wanted. They are the best side of 40 and they already talk as if their life is over. If you have not followed your dreams, why not start doing it now? The fact that when we were young, we choose a different path doesn’t mean we should resign ourselves to this fate. There is no reason why we cannot change course. Take time to think what would really inspire you; what are the things you would like to do; who would you like to become? There is nothing more important that working out your inner and outer priorities. When you know what you would like to do, what is to hold you back?

Are You Stuck in Bad Habits.

Quite often, the main reason for heading nowhere in particular, is the fact we are stuck in bad habits. These are habits that limit our perspectives and outlook on life. The problem is that after a while, we feel that these habits have become part of ourself. Because we associate ourselves with our habits, we feel powerless to change them. However, it is possible to take a new direction; with determination we can free ourselves from bad habits.

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Photo by Palyati, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

How to Know the Right Thing to Do.

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How often do we find ourselves struggling to know the right course of action, the right thing to say? There is no magic solution to knowing the right thing to do. But, these are a few suggestions for working out the best course of action.

1. Listen to Your Inner voice

Deep within, we all have an inner voice, – our own conscience. It is sometimes hard to put our finger on this part of us, which knows the right thing. To be able to listen to our own conscience we have to silence the mind and put aside the perceptions of the ego. Conscience is like a muscle, the more we listen to it – the stronger it becomes. If we value our inner pilot, it will be easier to listen to it.

2. Does your decision bring inner peace?

The best way to tell whether we are doing the right thing is to feel whether we are inwardly happy with the choice. As William Shakespeare suggested it is:

“A peace above all earthly dignities, a still and quiet conscience.” [1]

Sometimes we want to do something, but feel tremendous discord and inner turmoil. With these kind of decisions we cannot get any peace of mind, but, we spend time vainly trying to justify our decisions. Sometimes we can succeed in overriding the voice of our conscience – but, this inevitably leads to regrets later on. Note the ‘right decision’ may not lead to outer peace. Sometimes doing the ‘right thing’ will bring complications in our outer life. But, in working out the best thing to do, we need to place importance on our inner state of mind. If we know we are doing the ‘right thing’ we can more easily tolerate outer sufferings.

3. Give Time for Reflection

Quite often our initial reaction is clouded with emotion. When we react in haste, it is more difficult to know the right thing to do. When writing an important letter, always give time to revise your initial draft. Sometimes we write things in the heat of the moment, but, on quiet reflection we realise there are much better ways of saying things. If a difficult situation arises try to give yourself time before pronouncing your verdict. This is particularly true if we are consumed with anger. When we are angry we lose our equanimity and our judgement is often impaired.

Continue reading “How to Know the Right Thing to Do.”

How to Be Actively Calm and Calmly active

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To be actively calm and calmly active is the essence of a balanced life. We need to be active, but this activity needs to be undertaken with equanimity and inner peace. As well as working and achieving things, we should not ignore the importance of looking after ourself and paying attention to our inner life.

Here are some suggestions to be actively calm and calmly active.

1. One Thing at A Time

This concept is essentially simple; yet, if we can concentrate on one thing at a time it will make a big difference. Whatever we do, we should give it our full attention and focus. When we have only 1 thing to do and one thing to think about, it is quite easy for our limited mind to cope. When we have several things on our mind we flit from one problem to another; when this occurs, we can become overwhelmed at how difficult life seems. By doing several things at once, we won’t get more done, we will just feel more busy and feel more important. Try to do only one thing at a time and see the difference it makes. Start off with the your most important task and gradually tick off the things that you need to do.

2. Set Aside Time for Relaxation.

It is very easy to feel that our life is too busy to spend 20 minutes cultivating inner peace. However, the success of our outer activity depends on our inner state of mind. If we our mind is confused and brimming with conflicting thoughts, our outer activity will be hard work and victim to our own insecurities. However, if we can clear the mind and achieve an inner state of peace, we will be able to work much more effectively. The time we set aside aside for ourselves will not reduce our potential, it will give us increased productivity.

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Benefits of Reducing the Ego

yellow mountain

The ego is the part of us that identifies with our body and the personality of ourself. The ego is the little ‘I’ which thinks thoughts such as: “I am good.” “I am bad,” “I’m much better than that person,” “I am inferior to everyone else”.

Previously, I looked at how to reduce the influence of the ego. In this article I thought I would look at reasons why it is a good idea to reduce the ego.

Ego is Caught in the duality of good and bad

For every good thought, there is an equal and opposite idea. For example, when we have a tremendous sense of pride, we feel an equal measure of humiliation when our pride is punctured. When the ego criticises other people, the ego feels an equal measure of guilt when the roles are reversed. To avoid feelings of inadequacy, we should not seek to just avoid doing the wrong thing, we should also seek to reduce our ego; it is this that will enable us to detach from feelings of pride and humiliation.

Ego knows no Peace

When we live in the ego, we always will find inner peace an elusive goal. The reason is that the ego constantly worries and doubts. When we are subject to these thoughts a lasting peace cannot take hold. To attain peace of mind, we need to let go of the ego and live in the here and now. See also Seven steps to inner peace

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