Category: life

I’m pleased to be able to introduce a new author for our blog – Shane Magee.

Shane is a good friend  from Dublin, Ireland and is a member of the Dublin Sri Chinmoy Centre. He is a good writer and is also interested in self improvement. Shane is also, very nearly, a sub 3 hour marathon runner and has a website of running tips: All About Running  – Running Tips from the Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team
It is hard to believe, if you ever met Shane, but he also has a phD in Physics.

Like myself, Shane also teaches meditation classes, so we look forward to a great diversity of self improvement articles (but, I promise no Astro Physics….)

Shane will be writing 1 article per week on Thursdays or Fridays.

“Our life is frittered away by detail… Simplify, simplify, simplify! … Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.”

– Henry David Thoreau

It is a good question whether modern society has led to an improvement in living standards. We have an unprecedented level of material prosperity, but often it seems to come at the price of increased complexity and stress. However, there is no reason why we cannot have the best of both worlds; taking advantage of modern technology and enjoying the simplicity of living in the present moment. If you feel life is too stressful and complicated these are some tips to simplify your life.

Give Priority to the essentials of life.

Sometimes we can allow small problems to escalate and dominate our lives. If we get overcharged a few cents, it is irritating, but don’t allow it to ruin your day. There will always be small issues to irritate us, the secret is to be able to give them the importance they deserve. The essentials of life is cultivating happiness; if small unimportant things overwhelm us, then we will not be able to enjoy life as it should be.

Don’t Worry about Pleasing everyone.

If you try to please everyone, you will undoubtedly fail, plus you will not make yourself happy. Consider what is the right thing to do, rather than what other people expect you to do. Don’t feel guilty if people are disappointed with how you act and choose. It is not your responsibility to please their unreasonable expectations.

Happiness is not Found is fulfilling All Desires

It is a useful exercise, to write down how many desires and wishes that we have. If we are honest, we will find the list to be very long. Often it involves a hope that other people will behave in a certain way. Alternatively, we think that if we can gain greater financial security all our problems will dissipate. However, fulfilling all our desires is not the way to gain happiness. The fulfillment of all desires is inevitably impossible and creates a sense of frustration because we cannot get what we want. Instead, minimise the list of desires and be content with what we have.

Don’t listen to the fears of the mind.

It is our own mind that can create fears and complications in life. If we give importance to these self generated problems, life will feel complex and troublesome. Furthermore, most worries are based on false fears; simplify your life by suspending disbelief and anxiety. Live in the present moment, leave the problems of tomorrow for another day.

Detachment

Life can feel like a never ending soap opera, there are always problems for us to deal with. Detachment doesn’t mean aloofness, detachment means we will offer service to others without expectation of reward or expectation of a certain outcome. Don’t feel personally responsible for other people’s lives. Do what you think is the right thing, but be detached from the outcome.

Continue reading “10 Effective Ways to Simplify Your Life”

What is success and how can we achieve it?

Success and Happiness

Does success leave you feeling satisfied and sincerely happy, or does it just leave you just striving for more? Some people have difficulty enjoying success because whatever they achieve is not enough. It is like fulfilling one desire, only to have 2 take its place. We have to learn to enjoy our success, if we cannot be at peace with ourselves is it really success?

Working with Others

‘no man is an island’ – John Donne.

If we seek to succeed on our own, we cut ourselves off from the support and guidance of others. Often when we try to succeed on our own we bring to the fore our pride and ego; there is a feeling of self-sufficiency that makes us unwilling to take the necessary help of others. We need to feel that success is not just about ourselves, but a team effort. Even if one persons succeeds in rowing solo across the Atlantic, they will feel some appreciation for their trainer, and the mechanic who helped prepare for the task. It is not possible to do everything on your own. If you feel oneness with others you will gain more happiness from your success. If you try to keep all the success just for you, you limit your possibilities.

Vision

To succeed we need to have a clear vision of what we wish to achieve; it is important to keep these aspirations in the forefront of our mind. We need to have a clarity of purpose and intent that will keep us focused. It is this belief and vision that will prevent us from being discouraged by critics and nay-sayers. The world can be a negative place; it is easier to disbelieve and criticise than it is to encourage people of vision. If you want to succeed and achieve something new, there will be an inevitable resistance from some parts of society. Success depends on a clarity of focus which prevents being deterred and held back by others.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”

— Henry David Thoreau

Continue reading “The Zen of Success”

Is suffering necessary for our self-improvement or does it hinder our progress? How often do we suffer unnecessarily because of our own mind, and how we can learn and progress, despite periods of unavoidable suffering? These are some thoughts on suffering.

Don’t Invite Suffering

Most of our mental problems are self imposed. When we examine our own mind we realise how many unnecessary fears and anxieties we hold onto. It is these thoughts that are our real source of suffering; but, there is no need to cherish them at all. Make a conscious effort to let go of those thoughts which cause only internal suffering; look upon these thoughts as a dark spot on your own heart. Try to cultivate the opposite of suffering which is happiness. When we are inwardly sincerely happy we will make more progress, we will also be able to share our inner wealth with others. How can we uplift others, when we ourselves are thoroughly miserable?

Suffering Lowers Our Consciousness

Sometime we feel that if we have many crosses to bear we will make tremendous progress. But, often when we suffer what happens is that we feel miserable and unhappy; when we are unhappy we subconsciously seek to blame the world and inevitably we share our suffering with others. On the other hand sometimes when we have many problems we also feel proud and important that we have so many difficulties to deal with. It is because of emotions like this that we cling onto our negative emotions.

Progress Through Suffering

When life is easy and problem free we coast along with little concern for our self improvement; life is pleasurable so we are content to remain as we are. However, difficult experiences often force us to re-evaluate our approach and attitude to life. Perhaps our pride has been hurt or we feel guilty for having made a mistake. It is these shocks to the system that create the motivation to aim for higher ideals and be less self absorbed. When we look back, at what felt like a period of unfair suffering, we later feel that it was completely necessary and actually the start of a fresh beginning.

Continue reading “Suffering and Self Development”

It is easy to talk about the desirability of forgiving your enemies. But, in practise it can be difficult to both forgive and forget. This post is inspired by a reader asking how they might overcome a ‘grudge’ against someone. I don’t feel particularly qualified to answer this question, but, I will suggest a few ideas that might help; maybe readers may have a few more.

1. Intention is the most important Step

To the reader who asked the question, I would say the most important step is the desire to give up the grudge. If we see the desirability of forgiving and moving on then it definitely becomes possible. Whatever we focus on becomes achievable. But, if we have no willingness to give up hostility towards other people it will never happen. – If we dearly cherish our own negativity we can’t expect an angel to come and take away all our hostility. I would suggest that it is important to keep reminding yourself of your wish to be free from this negative grudge. Even if it is difficult to achieve, keep reminding yourself of the goal.

2. Forgiveness = Happiness

If you hold ill will towards another, this hatred and enmity will inevitably cloud your own happiness. It is not possible to hate and be truly satisfied. Why should you allow your enemies to spoil your own peace of mind and inner joy? Try this exercise; when you are aware of ill will towards others, try to feel it is like a black spot on your own heart. By hating others, you do not change anything; but, you do make your own life miserable. When we are unhappy no situation is improved. When we see our own happiness is dependent upon letting go of grudges, we will be more inspired to try and do it. Be kind to yourself, let go of negativity towards other people. (note this does not mean we are condoning bad actions of others. It just means we detach from the situation, we can still hate the action but are free of the personal enmity which is so corrosive to ourself.)

3. Human Justice and Divine Justice.

We have an innate desire for justice; when we feel wronged instinctively we desire to return the suffering. This is one way of living; but it is not necessarily the best. Just because someone deserves to be punished doesn’t mean we are responsible for making them suffer. If we believe in Karma, we feel that everyone is responsible for their actions. What we do, will come back to us ‘As we sow we reap’ However, if we feel responsible for rectifying every injustice, it is we who will suffer. Continue reading “Forgiving Your Enemies”

 

A truth that’s told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent.

– William Blake.

Under what circumstances is it justified to lie? Is the truth the ultimate moral imperative or should we be willing to tell lies? There are some situations, where a higher purpose can be served by not telling the truth. However, these cases are rare. In practice, it is often too easy to justify a lie, when we are only really trying to serve our own interests. These are some of the issues about lying and telling the truth.

Truth and Common Sense Wisdom

If our mother prepares a pie that is disappointing, we should not feel a moral compulsion to tell her exactly what we feel. In these cases we can use our wisdom and avoid telling an unnecessary truth. We don’t have to lie, but, nor do we have to make her aware of shortcomings and thus hurt her feelings. If somebody gets joy from cooking, why do we have to spoil that by zealously stating the truth? This does not mean we have to give false praise and flattery. But, it is good to take a diplomatic approach; being a bad cook is hardly a crime. Hurting someone’s feeling is unnecessary. Similarly if someone’s dress sense is ‘unique’ don’t feel obliged to state exactly what is in on your mind. 🙂

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise

– Emily Dickinson

BTW: It is difficult to make rules, we have to use our inner wisdom for this kind of thing. My mother is a very good cook, but, I enjoy giving her both criticism and praise; in a way she appreciates the honesty (I hope). It depends on the person; some are more sensitive than others.

Humility

There are times when we get into trouble and instinctively we seek to lie to avoid damage to our personal standing. However, if we are honest we save ourselves getting into complicated situations where we need to keep lying to maintain a false pretence. Usually it is better to tell the truth, admit mistakes and move on. It makes life simpler, there is also great humility in admitting mistakes; it is this quality that people will appreciate and value. Continue reading “Should we Always Tell the Truth?”

These are some tips to bring a new perspective into your life during the new year. There are several simple but effective changes that we can make to enable the new year to bring in real change and new opportunities.

Be Bold

Don’t spend another year sitting on the fence. Don’t spend your time complaining about little things. Look to the bigger picture and be willing to follow your heart’s aspirations, don’t be limited by the mind’s doubts and criticisms of other people. Being bold doesn’t mean being reckless; being bold means that we do things with confidence; it means that we live true to ourselves and avoid living upto the expectations of others. Being Bold means to value life and live life to the full

He who does not love life,
To him life is a taut
And rigid grasp.
He who loves life,
To him life is a beautiful
And powerful clasp.

Sri Chinmoy

Decide the Balance that you need in life.

We cannot underestimate the importance of balance in our daily activities. If we give all importance to earning money, we may get a lot of money; but, have no opportunity to spend time with our family. Similarly, if we have a habit of taking life too seriously, it is important to give more time to activities that create joy. When we take life too seriously, our mind comes to the fore with many complaints and judgements.

Make A Dream Come True

If you have dreams and aspirations, you always think are not possible – why not resolve to make them come true? We can always find excuses not to start something; the mind will always give a long list of complaints and grievances. But, also if we want to do something special we have to have the confidence and faith to give it a go. Don’t fear failure, you have nothing to lose.

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. “

George Bernard Shaw

Continue reading “How To Make 2008 a Better Year Than 2007”

Do we need a revolution to change the world? It is suggested that the most effective way to change the world is to begin by changing ourselves. If these ideas gained greater acceptance, the world would unmistakably change for the better.

The Power of Love and the Love of Power.

When we love power, we seek to control other people, we seek to assert our supremacy. This love of power inevitably creates tension, conflict and disputes. The power of love does not seek to assert its supremacy; it seeks to create a feeling of oneness. When there is real love, we see our ‘enemy’ as merely an extended aspect of our own reality.

Oneness not division

Do we find reasons to always divide and separate ourself from other people? If someone makes a mistake we can take two different approaches:

• The first is to judge and condemn them; we can have a feeling of moral superiority that we didn’t do that.
• The other option is to feel that this is a mistake we could easily have made ourselves. With this approach, we have a feeling of oneness with others; we cannot get any joy from someone else’s misfortune so we wish to maintain a forgiving attitude.

Peace

To hope for peace is a beginning. To talk about peace is good. But, if people value peace more than anything else, what will we lose and what will we gain? We will losing our teeming conflict, misery and suffering. We will gain tremendous satisfaction and happiness. The nature of peace is to spread; when we have inner peace we will help spread peace to other people. But, if within we have only dissatisfaction and inner turmoil, this is what we will extend to the rest of the world.

“The greatest misfortune that can come to a human being is to lose his inner peace. No outer force can rob him of it. It is his own thoughts, his own actions, that rob him of it.”

Sri Chinmoy (1)

Continue reading “Things which would change the World”