10 Powerful Ways to Deal with Anger

anger

Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with anger.

1. When you are angry say nothing.

If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. “

– Thomas Jefferson

2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.

Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.

3. Use reason to stop anger.

When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.

4. Look kindly upon Others.

Another visualisation, suggested by spiritual teacher Paramhansa Yogananda, is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.

5. Value Peace more than anger.

If we value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to remain in our system. As Sri Chinmoy says:

“You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind..”

6. Always try to understand those who are cross.

Don’t worry about feeling the need to defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.

7. Focus on Something Completely Different.

Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.

8. Breathe Deeply.

The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.

9. Meditation.

Practise meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during testing times. – How to Meditate

10. Smile

When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations.

Common Sense

If you leave your unlocked bike in the centre of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should  minimise this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike. If we feel there is an injustice in our workplace, we should work to resolve it; this will make our work environment more peaceful and less prone to creating anger. If we have a partner who is abusive, the solution is not just dealing with our own anger, but finding a more peaceful living situation.

When we try to transcend anger, it doesn’t mean we have to acquiesce to injustice and unfairness. We should strive to make the world a better place. However, whatever our goals, it is always best to act with poise and a clear mind. Acting under the influence of anger makes it more difficult to attain what we wish to achieve.

Finally as a teacher, I occasionally feign anger to make students pay attention; sometimes, you need to show a stern face. However, as a teacher you can’t afford to allow yourself to be over-run with the emotion of anger because then you may over-react and create problems.

See also:

Photo credit: Ranjit Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

185 thoughts on “10 Powerful Ways to Deal with Anger”

  1. hi,
    these tips are really useful..although I handle situations n my temper calmly but at times as a human nature i get angry…i am sure these tips will help me overcome my anger….

  2. Thank you very much for this notes. They are short and sweet.

    Thank you for reminding me of this important techniques which we tent to forget from time to time.

    Thank you 🙂

  3. i will try these i act nice out of home but when am home am always mad and make problems with sister and mother i lost my father 6 month ago and i feel am the reason of his death ..we are all angry in the house everybody shout on the other its all because of me .. but i really have a good heart when i do something while am mad i regret and fastly go and say sorry but am sick of being angry please any help thanks i will print this page to keep it in my office and house

  6. I often get angry when my i asked someone in a nice way but replied with “I did’nt know that or I don’t know”. then my anger gets in every direction like i shouted and slammed everything near me, even if that person apologize. I’d still or my mind always find a way to create a new issue that will brought another issue for us to debate or fight. I want to remove this anger issue. give me some advice.

    Thanks,

    Jef

  7. In some situations on certain social hubs, there is intense negativity. I used to become deeply involved in those situations, as sort of a peacekeeper. I didn’t want my friends tearing at each other about small issues. But after awhile, I began to become moody myself, and even snappy at people who, in my eyes at the time, refused to see common sense. I find this page to be a wonderful guide! It’s opened my eyes to solutions that I haven’t thought about before. Thanks a Bunch! =)

  8. Thanks for the tips specially tip number two I’m usually getting mad because people usually try to make me angry I’m very easy to get angry but the worst part about my anger is if I am angry I take it out on everyone I hit I scream and use very offensive words and I usually end up regreting it

  9. I have a problem with anger, it’s not a normal problem as I have trouble releasing my anger. Normally I keep everything under the covers, anything the annoys me I brush under the rug and dont give it a second thought. But lately all the anger and fustration has built up inside me and i cant release it. It has gotten to a stage where the anger and fustration has strucken me with aloplecia, i have lost ALL of my hair because of this problem. I was at college but my anger and fustration turned to stress and I failed my exams, because of it, i have now lost all my motivation and aspirations in life. This problem has ruined my life so be glad that you can release your anger rather than holding it in, I am verging depression which is making it even harder to release my anger and fustration. Count your blessings, because I have none. I am 17.

  10. when i get mad its usually because of me and my partners relationship. we are always fighting about the same things constantly and i tend to curse alot more than he does. hes told me plenty of times that he doesnt like it but i get so madd that these bad words always come out. the thing is this, i dont like certain things that he does and he doesnt like certain things i do. we come to a conclusion that neither of us is gonna do those things. most of the time i do these things out of anger. i’ll try this strategy. everytime my significant other tells me it bothers him, i feel terrible because i know im the reason hes started to be the way he is now his anger is out of control because hes gotten so fed up with my outbursts instead speak civil (which half the time i try really hard in a tough situation, i can pat myself on the back for that one!!! i try so hard to be nice but im always noticing the bad things, is it me or is it really him? iddk. i hope this works. thanks. Avery..

  12. these are powerful ways to deal with stress i do most of these on my own i feel these are great some are not to good like number 6 and 7

  13. I just found this website and am going to try everything in my power to make it work because I have so much anger in me thats it is not even funny anymore. At first i was like ok whatever I have a little anger who cares but it has been out of control for the last few months. I mean OUT OF CONTROL! So i am going to try them out and see how that help with my problem! Please e-mail me some more tips if possible I want as much as i can get. You could never have enough tips for a situation like this I feel. Thanks!!!

  14. I really need help with my anger… it is chasing people from me and sometimes out of anger I beat up my child for him doing a very minute thing… things can’t go on any longer. I need to know how to handle it. I think I let out my anger on undeserving people and it is very lonely where I am as people are scared of me… I hope this helps me! Please send me more tips on how to deal with this and if possible help me find out what am angry about. I think it has something to do with my past experiences…

  16. Thanks for your help. My personal opinion.
    Anger can be considered as weakness.if you want to be strong person why to have that weakness in youk.so everytime you get angry and let it out,think about it that uv let yourself down and give in to your weakness.this is the only way i can and have beat my anger most the time,i used to have to hit something or scream but thats weakness to me now not to be able to handle it.think about it like that do you wana lose control or do you wana be in control i prefer being in conrtol and with anger you cant be.keep calm dont think about something as much as you wana brush it off your stronger than that seriously.im 32 now so its not as if its took me all my life to do it.just try to understand the situation or the person whos making you angry.if you do wana say something say it calmly and firmly get your point across but dont shout it doesnt benefit anyone.i sometimes slip of course we all always will but always try your hardest.

    http://www.10toeverything.com/home/stress-management/how-to-control-anger

  19. I fell that every time i am at work i fell mad. Only some day though. One day i will be fine, and the next i want to rip someones head off. I tried to listen to music and that works but on for An hour or so, so i went to our works consolour and he said that he needs to see me every week but i haven’t seen him i a month! I dont know what to do; i can control it but only for a certain ammount of time. I bottle it u p and i found out that that can cause cancer in many men and women. Espically teens. That i when i got scared so i took upon myself to go and get professional help and they did nothing they said tht the anger was not SERRIOUS ENOUGH to get professional help they said to go to a consouler!

  20. it’s difficult to control the anger,,, when u r correct and somebody blames u…. i always kept my self away from the undesired people in order to avoid blaming, shouting, scolding… but today’s situation was different. i don’t wanted to even speak or see that worst girl… but to defend my self now or never before my beloved ones it was necessary to quarrel with her…. but now i decided after reading this article, that i never ever speak or care that person so to avoid the same worst situation in future…i realized it will be better for me to focus on other goals that i wanted ever in my life….
    i will be pleased to God if he keep away such people and give me peace of mind

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