1 Year Old and 1,000 Subscribers

cloud

Our blog is a little over a year old. We are grateful to all our readers who have subscribed and left kind and thoughtful comments. We also grateful to those who have ‘stumbled’ the odd post. Stumbleupon has definitely helped us to grow the blog.

These are some of our favourite articles in the past 12 months

Photo: Pavitrata, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

A Meditation Exercise For Self-Discovery

I occasionally give meditation classes in my home city of Dublin. The great thing about giving classes is that they attract amazing people from all different corners of the globe and walks of life. Many of them are there looking for techniques to relieve the increasing amount of stress and anxiety that they face in their lives. Others, though, come looking for something that goes beyond just stress relief; they feel that meditation can somehow give them a deeper sense of themselves, and expand their awareness of who they are. And they are right. It can.

Many of the exercises we teach in our classes stem from one very simple secret I learned from my meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy – to meditate on the heart instead of the mind. Seeing as our overactive mind is the source of many of our worries, meditating in the mind can often lead to tension and stress. On the other hand, the heart is that space in the middle of the chest we point to when we refer to ourselves, so naturally it is a very good place to begin any journey of self-discovery.

This meditation exercise works on two levels – it helps to purify the mind of all the superfluous chatter that gets in the way of our self discovery, and (more importantly) it makes us identify with a much deeper part of our nature that goes beyond the body or the mind. When we are in the heart, we see that it is always aspiring and reaching towards a greater sense of happiness. And according to all the great meditation teachers, that sense of perfection and true happiness lies within us, in the highest part of our being – for example, Zen Buddhism talks about how we are already enlightened, we just need to uncover it, and of course there is the famous utterance of the Christ “the Kingdom of Heaven is within you”. We call this highest part of our being the soul, although many people have their own language to describe it.

Method:

1. It doesn’t matter if you use a cushion or a chair to sit; the important thing is that you keep your back straight. For this exercise, you can keep your eyes closed and your hands turned upwards on your lap.

2. For the first couple of minutes, just slowly scan through your body from to bottom, making sure that everything is relaxed. Make any little adjustment you need to make to ensure your body is relaxed and free of tension. Pay particular attention to your neck and shoulders as this is where a lot of tension builds up.

3. When we are fully relaxed, we will begin the meditation proper. When you breathe in, slowly repeat to yourself “I have no mind, I have no mind. What I have is the heart.” As you say this, try to feel that at this moment the mind does not exist, that the only part of you that is truly real is the heart. As you feel more and more that the heart is the only real part of you there, your attention will be focused there more and more. If the mind interrupts with its thoughts, don’t worry, just bring your attention back to the exercise.

4. After 3 or 4 minutes, we can take a step further, from the heart into the soul. This time repeat to yourself “I don’t have a heart. What I have is the soul.” Feel that deep inside the heart lies the soul, the highest part of your being, which is all beauty and all light. Again, feel that the soul is the only real part of you – this will naturally bring your attention more and more to it.

5. After another few minutes, you can take a further step, saying this time “I am the soul”. This beauty, joy and peace is not just something lying dormant inside you, it is what you truly are. As you say this, you are far beyond the limitations of your mind and body, and you can feel as tremendous feeling of purity and inner freedom enter your being. Try and stay in this beautiful space for as long as you can.

A lot of people who come to meditation classes have very beautiful experiences from doing exercises like this one – the experiences tend to vary from person to person, as the exercise serves to bring our the unique qualities of your soul. If anyone is inspired to try and let us know if they had any nice experiences, we’d be more than happy to hear about it!

Photo: Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

How To Deal With Angry Customers

sunset

It is unfortunate that the angry customer is all too common. If you work in any service industry, you will undoubtedly come across people who get needlessly angry. It can be quite disconcerting as there can be real power and invective behind their anger. Knowing how to deal with angry people is an invaluable life skill and definitely will help you remain peaceful This advice is equally valid for dealing with angry people in general.

Dealing With Angry People

Don’t respond With Anger

You may feel that their unjustified anger means you have the right to respond in a similar way. Maybe you would be justified, but, it definitely won’t help. Responding with anger makes the situation worse because:

  • They will get even more angry and unreasonable.
  • More importantly, you will become stressed and unhappy.
  • Staying calm is the best way to resolve the situation.

Feel, that they are like irresponsible teenagers, and you need to  respond in a responsible and reasonable manner.

Don’t Feel Guilty

The nature of anger is that the person tries very hard to make you feel guilty. You may just be a humble petrol attendant. But, the customer wants you to feel guilty for the fact petrol prices have risen by 20%. Don’t bother to explain that your duties as a petrol attendant  don’t actually involve speculating billions of $ on oil stocks just so customers will face higher prices. Whatever the complaint – don’t feel guilty. Even if it is a mistake like bringing the wrong order of food, it is just a mistake and not something to be guilty or ashamed about. If you do feel guilty, you will be unhappy and also feel that you need to defend yourself.

An Angry Customer is Probably an Unreasonable Customer

When people get angry they loose a sense of perspective and it becomes difficult to reason with them. It is good to deal with the situation in a way that pacifies them without going into too much detail.

“I am very sorry, for your inconvenience. We will investigate the problem and the technical staff will endeavour to resolve it as soon as possible.”

Acknowledge Their Complaint and Offer Some Solution.

People who get angry don’t want to lose face, so it is important to give them a way out.

  • Firstly don’t panic. They may feel it is the most important thing in the world, but, sometimes a moments silence can calm the situation.
  • Acknowledge the issue.
  • Apologise for their inconvenience. Note: if you think there complaint is unjustified, you can apologise in a very unspecific way. This gives an apology without having to admit that they are right.
  • Say you will refer it to the right department. They might not want to hear this, but, they have to realise the person answering the phone in a call centre, doesn’t necessarily program the ISP configuration of their internet service.

Think of them as insignificant ants.

People who get angry because their coffee is   too cold, or have been charged 50p too much for their 5 star hotel, really don’t deserve too much sympathy. They are like spoilt children who go around causing needless mischief. You will reply in a calm and dignified way, but, don’t hold onto the problem. Let it go.

Continue reading “How To Deal With Angry Customers”

How to face up to your weaknesses – and overcome them

Often we have a rather fixed concept of ourselves and how we would like others to percieve us. Hence, it’s a pretty painful experience when you are suddenly confronted with some unsavoury aspect of your nature, and it’s doubly painful when it’s exposed for all to see. Some of us become resigned to saying ‘that’s just the way I am’ and claiming their weakness almost as a badge of identity, whereas others go to the opposite extreme, mentally flagellating themselves for every misstep they make in life.

Is there a middle path between these two extremes? Can you really overcome your weaknesses? From the changes I have seen in my life, and also from watching the lives of many of my friends who in one form or another have committed themselves to truly living at their fullest potential, I can definitely say yes to that one. And like many other things, it’s a question of how you do it. Here are a few observations:

Thinking about your weakness only gives it strength

When we hate other people, what happens? The thought of them pervades our mental space, and end up unconsciously guiding our emotions and actions. Similarly, forever thinking of how bad your weakesses are give them power over you, and make you feel helpless in the face of them. It is better to always keep an attitude of pragmatism – the bad thing you did in the past cannot be changed now, but you can always work on avoiding a repeat in the future.

Self-acceptance

We often set unrealistic ideas of the person we should be, and a newly-discovered weaknesses often causes us pain because it jarringly conflicts with this idea. The first step in overcoming weakesses is to lose these unrealistic ideas and accept yourself for who you are. By accepting yourself, warts and all, you are not giving up. No, it is in fact a realistic assessment of where you stand now in your life. Once you have learned to accept and love yourself for who you truly are, you can then work on the journey of self-improvement. My meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy, once used the analogy of a potter working with clay: “You have to be a divine potter. If the potter is afraid to touch the clay, he will not be able to offer anything to the world. So the potter touches the clay and shapes it into something beautiful and useful.”

You are not your problems

When we are confronted with a particular weakness, it tends to crowd our mind that we feel that they are the sum total of what we are! This is absolutely not true. If a cloud temporarily covers the sun, it does not mean that the sun does not exist. Your problems are not ‘you’, they are merely temporary limitations and bad habits obstructing your true nature, and as such, can always be unlearned and transformed.

Focus on increasing the opposite quality

It is always a much more rewarding task to increase positive qualities than reduce negative ones. If you lose your temper easily, you can focus on increasing your inner calmness. If you are prone to criticise others, try and increase the number of good things you see in everyone you meet. Working on positive goals turns the situation around from a struggle with ‘the enemy within’ to a process of inner growth and blossoming.

Never give up

The process of human improvement is not like instant coffee, or a miracle pill. There are ups, there are downs, there are times you wonder if you are any better than when you started. Yet bear in mind that anything we did that ever brought us a feeling of joy and satisfaction, only came because we commited to it and saw it through to the end.

Photo: Pranlobha Kalagian, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

Life Without Criticism

smiling

Last week, I made a challenge to see what it was like not to criticise other people either inwardly or outwardly. I have to say it was quite difficult! It seemed as if events conspired to make it more difficult than usual or maybe I was just more aware of how often we are prone to criticism.

These are some observations from last week.

Criticism can become like a bad habit. I noticed there were occasions where I instinctively started to criticise others – usually over minor infractions like for example, a house mate not tidying up. You have to work hard to get out of the habit.

The Action vs Person. When you are trying hard not to criticise, one thing you are forced to do is separate the action from the person. Just because somebody is untidy or irritating it doesn’t make them a bad person. It is worth developing the ability to think badly about an action of a person without making it personal.

Not Neutral If we don’t find anything to criticise, we like the person. We are not neutral.

Empathy. When we are trying hard not to criticise other people, it encourages us to develop empathy. Rather than jumping to condemnation, we think it is a mistake we could easily be making ourself. This is actually quite true, because when we criticise others, we often have the fault in ourself. This empathy or feeling of oneness with others feels good.

Criticism is often False anyway. Once I was cycling home, a driver carelessly through some litter out of the window, normally I would start criticising inwardly, but, this time I checked myself.  When I cycled further on, I realised the driver had just thrown a leaf out of the car – so it wasn’t litter at all. This seemed an appropriate lesson. Often when we criticise we are wrong and misinformed anyway.

There is no peace in criticism. One thing no one can deny is that if you spend all your time criticising others you will not have peace of mind. If you stop criticising the world doesn’t stop functioning.

Criticising Yourself. To avoid criticising others, it is important to work on not criticising yourself. I’ve noticed that there is strong link  between criticising others and criticising yourself. When we criticise others, we are living in a judgemental frame of mind. When we are judgemental about others, we tend to be judgemental about ourself. If we can be tolerant / accepting of others, it is easier to be accepting of ourself.

To live without criticism does not mean we ignore right and wrong. It means we don’t spend precious energy in thinking badly of others and ourself.

I definitely feel that the mind is far too prone to criticism and it creates an unhappy state of mind. I’m going to give it another go this week and try to do better!

Not Criticising Others – A Challenge

mountains

It is said that to read a book takes one hour. To understand a book takes one week, But, to actually live the book can take several lifetimes.

I frequently, read about the desirability of avoiding criticising others.

To deliberately criticise
Another individual
May cause an indelible stain
On the critic.

– Sri Chinmoy

The fault is in the blamer
Spirit sees nothing to criticize

– Rumi

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”

– Benjamin Franklin

“Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting”

– Emmet Fox

This is something in this that really resonates. And yet, it can be difficult to put into practise. As Sri Chinmoy says:

To resist the urge
To criticise others
Is, indeed, a most difficult task.

– Sri Chinmoy

Why it is good to avoid criticising others.

  • When we criticise others, we often have the same fault in our own nature.
  • Criticising others very rarely inspires them to change.
  • Gossiping about others brings out the worst in ourself. It gives us a negative frame of mind
  • Criticising others, gives us a sense of pride and superiority.
  • We really value people who aren’t negative, but willing to look over our mistakes and see the good.

Theory is Fine, but, Is it Practical?

Theoretically, it is great, but, what about living the ideal?

Continue reading “Not Criticising Others – A Challenge”

Why A Healthy Body Means A Healthy Mind

Since time immemorial, great civilizations have discovered and utilised the link between physical fitness and clarity of being. In the ancient civilizations of India, Greece and Rome physical fitness was given the highest importance – our title is in fact derived from the old Latin saying “mens sana in corpore sano“. This connection works on multiple levels and being aware of each aspect can really motivate you to have a fitness regimen as an integral part of your practice of self-improvement.

1. (The obvious one) Stress relief

During the day all the annoyances and troubles of the day slowly build up in our nervous system, turning us into the human equivalent of pressure cooker! But when we do some physical exercise, all that stored up energy suddenly finds a channel through which it can operate. So when you finish, not only do you have that feel-good physical factor, but also an enhanced sense of mental clarity.

2. Shake off lethargy

Often (especially if we have slept too much) we arise with a feeling of lethargy and sluggishness which can impair our effectiveness during the day. That’s why a run first thing in the morning works wonders in shaking off that half-asleep feeling. In fact, next time you get up and are tempted to go back to bed for a little while, try doing some exercise instead – you’ll be surprised how alert you feel at the end, and you will wonder where all that tiredness you had this morning went! Continue reading “Why A Healthy Body Means A Healthy Mind”

How To Inspire Others

sunrise

It is a mistake to try and change others; real change can only come from within. When we seek to ‘change’ others we only meet with frustration. However, we can inspire others – lead by example. These are some practical ways to inspire others in a positive way.

Sincerity

Sincerity means we act with honesty and integrity. An insincere person is driven by the winds of social attitudes. A sincere person has faith in what he his doing and how he is living his life. We can unmistakeably notice the difference between a sincere person and an insincere person. If we do something we really believe in, it can’t help but inspire others.

Encourage Positive Qualities

Can we inspire others by pointing out their numerous faults? Of course not. Encouragement is the best way to inspire others to do the right thing and become the right person. Encouragement is infinitely more powerful than denigration.

Humility

This is to act without expectation of reward; It is to speak without trying to impress others. To lead and inspire others, we first have to be humble and able to follow ourself. If we always want to assert our superiority and strength we will fail to inspire others. See post on the power of humility

Be Happy.

Who are the people who inspire us? It is not those who are miserable and always complaining about the state of the world. We are inspired by those who brush aside difficulties and retain a cheerful attitude to the world. Happiness is infectious because it is something we all aspire for.

Continue reading “How To Inspire Others”

How to get by on less sleep

Often I think about what a shame it is that many of us have to spend eight hours or even more in a state of pretty much total unconsciousness. Of course, if we suddenly try to reduce that time, we just end up in a state of disorientation and crankiness, but there are a few things we can do to slowly and naturally reduce the amount we sleep and claim back more time for the things we really want to do:

1. If we have more quality, we need less quantity

When I was in college, I was convinced I needed nine hours minimum rest – however, when I look back, I see that rest included at least an hour tossing and turning around before sleep finally descended, and even then I could still sense my mind turning around like a washing machine. When I took steps to improve the quality of my sleep, I found that the quantity I needed also decreased. Here are a couple of things worth considering:

  • Try to turn off any mental disturbances (e.g computer or tv) half an hour before bedtime; the mental spill over from what we were watching or working on can often accompany us to bed and affect our sleep quality.
  • Many of us will take a shower and a change of clothes when we come home from work; it helps to put the workday behind us. Similarly, a shower (or even washing face and hands) before bedtime helps us to clense ourselves of the experiences of the day and not carry them into our sleep.
  • When the mind is calm, you can sink into a much deeper, more refreshing level of sleep. A five minute practice of meditation just before you turn in can give you that clarity of mind and enable a nights sleep unhindered by nightmares and other mental disturbances. Tejvan wrote about a meditation exercise you can try a few weeks ago…

2. A short daily nap

Much of our tiredness comes from stresses and strains which gradually build up during the day. A twenty minute nap in the afternoon can be just the thing to settle the nerves and give you a new lease of life going into the second part of the day. It also has the effect of tricking the mind into thinking that you’ve actually slept for longer, which means it can be a very good way to compensate for any reduced sleep you’ve gotten the night before.

3. Reduce sleep gradually, not suddenly

If you suddenly decide you are going to sleep for four hours a night, it will very quickly tell upon your health and well being. The best thing to do is reduce in small increments, say, fifteen minutes at a time. Once you have been at that level for a few weeks and your body has adjusted, then you can you can try and reduce by another fifteen minutes.

4. Try this concentration exercise

There are concentration excercises you can do which, when practiced properly, can be used in times of tiredness to give you the same amount of rest as sleep. This one in particular was suggested by my meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy:

Try to feel that your entire body, from head to foot, represents a sea of peace. Feel that you have become peace itself, that you embody peace within and without. Try to feel your physical frame consciously, but at the same time feel that you are an infinite expanse of peace. When you can consciously feel this expanse of peace, you will see that your physical body, flesh, blood and bones, has totally merged and disappeared into that sea of peace.

In ancient times, yogis and meditation practitioners would use techniques like this to get the equivalent amount of rest in seconds to minutes and hours of sleep.

5. Another trick you can play on the mind

While I was researching the above quote, I found something else my teacher suggested which I had completely forgotten about:

Also, when you go to bed, just try to feel that you are going to sleep for twenty-four hours. Then, even though the clock will say that you have slept only three or four hours, your very first thought as soon as you wake up should be that you have slept for twenty-four hours. The mind can convince the outer consciousness, and immediately you will believe it. This is not self-deception; it is proper use of the conscious mind. The figure twenty-four has enormous strength. It immediately gives us a sense of comfort, relief, pleasure, fulfilment.

This advice has definitely saved me on a couple of occasions when I had three or four hours sleep with a big day ahead of me the next day.

If anyone has any additional tips, please let us know!

(Photo: stxchng.hu)

Video Post – Meet Shane and Tejvan

Our blog is about 10 months old so we thought it would be nice to offer a video post, so you can see who we are.

We made the video using my Macbook and Apple QuickTime Pro. It’s pretty basic quality, but, was relatively easy to make.

I hope you can hear us over the background noise.

Interesting Pieces of Information

Shane has been known to record 150 words per minute in conversation, but, we did manage to slow him down a little bit for this video 🙂

We recorded the video in Panorama Cafe, which is run by our friend Ketan Goldman.

BTW: As Shane mentioned, Ashrita Furman has broken quite a few records in this cafe. His most recent record was for eating the most garlic in one minute – you can see a humorous write up on Ashrita’s blog