Happiness will follow you

To many people, the world seems palpably lacking in leaders – people of principle who can empathise whith those they lead and who can be trusted to do what is best for the group at large. But what makes a good leader and how can you improve the quality of your leadership? We list six qualities any good leader should have:

A leader brings out the best in his people

Start with what they know. Build with what they have. The best of leaders when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say we have done it ourselves.
Lao Tzu

A lot of tension in leadership situations comes because we have a fixed idea of what should happen, regardless of peoples’ abilities to carry that thing out. Criticizing people for something they haven’t been properly trained to do or for not fitting into your grand plan is not leadership. Leadership comes from an honest evaluation of people’s capacities and strengths, and then playing to those strengths. When people can contribute their best qualities to a project, they are much more likely to feel a sense of ownership about the project and go the extra mile to see it through.

A good leader is not a control freak

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

George Patton

We have all seen the kind of person who says “its my way or the high way”. Sometimes forceful people can push their agenda and achieve a few immediate successes, but long term they are left with a crew rife with tension and bad feeling, and getting anything done becomes like squeezing blood from a stone. If you can harness people’s enthusiasm and give them a sense of empowerment about their work, then they are much more likely to work with you than against you, and you will discover new talents within your crew that you might otherwise never have found.

Continue reading “What makes a good leader?”

In western society, the mind is generally considered to be the apex of our being, and deep thinkers celebrated as the defining product of our times. In fact, it was not until I was in my mid-twenties until I came across the notion that the ordinary human mind may not be the be all and end all of human existence. What could possibly lie beyond the mind, I wondered? Well, we unconsciously answer that question every day when we gesture towards ourselves during a conversation – we point towards the middle of the chest, the place where we intuitively feel the core of our being. Hence if you are interested in pursuing the possibilities of self-discovery, then learning to live in the heart is a very good place to start.

So what differentiates the heart from the mind?

• Empathy. The heart is the place where we feel a sense of connectedness and goodwill with other people and the world – the phrase ‘my heart goes out to him’ says it all, I think. This is in stark contrast to the mind, which quite often resorts to stereotyping and seeing the bad qualities in others.

• Oneness. The mind works by gathering information, then classifying and categorising – a process of dividing which ultimately separates you from the object you are looking at. The heart, on the other hand, expands to identify itself with an object or situation, such that you actually feel connected with the thing you are focusing on.

• Spontaneity. The mind can become very jaded with seeing the same things and constantly requires new excitement to keep it happy, newness and freshness are an intrinsic part of the heart’s nature. For the heart, everything happens in the now, no mulling over the past, no worrying about what might happen. We can see this most clearly with children, running around inventing new games and discarding them in favour of new ones at the spur of the moment.

• Purpose. Often we have difficulty finding a purpose to fulfill here on earth, the thing that will make us most happy. The mind is very often no help here, vacillating between one option and another, heavily influenced by the unrealistic expectations of other people or society. Yet when we quiet the mind, we can feel an inner inspiration coming from the depths of our existence. When we get such an inspiration, it is often accompanied by a tremendous sense of inner joy and relief of the tension that came from your mental indecision. There is also a sense of certainty that does not depend on the result of the action; we inwardly know it is the right thing to do, regardless of whether it meets with success or failure.

So how does one explore the realm of the heart?

Here are a few exercises to practice for five or ten minutes every day:

• Use the breath. It is in the silence of the mind that you can then bring your attention to the heart. I found this simple breathing exercise to be quite effective: as you breathe in follow the river of breath, as it enters through the nose and enters into the core of your being. Similarly on the outbreath, feel the river of breath leaving your heart centre and leaving through your mouth into the universe.

• No mind. Let the power of imagination point you towards the heart centre. Feel and imagine that you have no mind, all you have is the heart; you can repeat to yourself “I have no mind; all I have is the heart”. After a few minutes you can go even further and say “I am the heart”, firmly identifying yourself with this reality in the core of your being.

• Mantras. In Eastern traditions this is considered one of the most effective ways to get into the heart. You can use ancient Sanskrit terms like ‘Aum’ or ‘Shanti’ (meaning peace) or instead repeat some quality of the heart that you particularly like, like ‘Love’ or ‘Joy’. If you place your hands on your chest whilst saying it; the physical sensation of the voice helps to bring your attention to the heart centre. As you repeat, feel that it is actually your heart centre saying the mantra in and through you.

• Music. Different kinds of music tend to affect different parts of our being, like our mind or our emotions. Likewise music created by people who live in the heart tend to also elevate our awareness and bring us closer to the heart. Just as the tide gets under a boat and lifts it up, so music can elevate you to places of peace and beauty inside yourself. When listening, resist all temptation to analyse the music, and in the words of my meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy, “let the music-bird fly inside your heart-sky“.

“I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference
of wisdom.”

– Anatole France

Enthusiasm is a great quality. Enthusiasm inspires others and ourselves to transcend our limitations and make a real difference. Without enthusiasm, life can become insipid and boring. Change is created by inspired people not by people who are half-hearted about life. These are some of the benefits of enthusiasm and how to cultivate enthusiasm in our own lives.

Enthusiasm Doesn’t dwell on Difficulties.

“Daring enthusiasm and abiding cheerfulness
Can accomplish everything on earth
Without fail.”

– Sri Chinmoy

Whenever we try to do something new, we will encounter problems and difficulties. We can’t expect to create something worthwhile unless we can overhcome difficulties. If we are half hearted in our approach, these difficulties will be a reason to give up. Our mind will be able to justify our failure by saying the difficulties are intractable. However, if we have real enthusiasm and determination, we will find a way around these difficulties; our enthusiasm will make our aspiration and dreams come true.

Enthusiasm is a stranger to Procrastination.

Procrastination is the biggest killer of any project. In procrastination our initial enthusiasm evaporates and it gives us time to deliberate on problems. This stop start approach will reduce our inspiration and creative flow. Genuine enthusiasm makes us focused and encourages us to overcome difficulties straight away.

Enthusiasm Doesn’t Give Up

“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm”

– Winston Churchill

Any project will face setbacks. If we are not determined and enthusiastic we will tend to give up. Enthusiasm can create success in even the most difficult circumstances.

Enthusiasm Inspires others.

“Mere enthusiasm is the all in all.”

– William Blake

Anything worthwhile requires more than one person. If we want to achieve something memorable, we need to inspire others. It is no good having a vision if we keep it to ourselves. If we are enthusiastic and 100% committed to the goal, it will imperceptibly encourage others to follow our lead. If a leader has no enthusiasm for a project, how will he inspire others to join in? Look around at the people who inspire you. It is enthusiastic, dynamic and positive people who encourage us to get involved. An attitude of indifference will turn people off straight away.

Enthusiasm Creates Intensity

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

The power of focus cannot be under-appreciated. To achieve something great we need the enthusiasm to concentrate on a goal until it is achieved. Without intensity we will struggle to make the a real difference.

How To Create Enthusiasm in Our Lives

Don’t Listen to the Naysayers.

There are some people who will always find the problems and negative outlook on life. They will subconsciously dampen your enthusiasm by highlighting the difficulties and being suspicious of anything new.

Continue reading “The Infectious Power of Enthusiasm”

The unexpected power of gratitude – A post about the potential of real gratitude in our lives

An Easy to Learn Concentration Exercise – If we can master the art of concentration, we can boost our productivity and learn to tame our mind

• Living without Fear
• Listening to the Inner Voice
• Are other people holding you back?
• The Power of Humility

Traditional Stories

Some thought provoking stories from different spiritual traditions

• How Much for a Glass of Water?
• Lending Money with wisdom – The wife’s dedication finally inspires her miser husband

Photo by Pranlobha, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

• Best of May 2008
• Best of April 2008

Things are going haywire at work, your friends are having troubles and you’re being brought into them, you’re wondering where the next money is going to come from – we’ve all had these times in our lives, where bad news never seems to come singly, but in groups! So how do we stay detached and keep our tranquility in the middle of everything?

Control your mind

All negativity first attacks the mind, and it is here that you can have your best defenses against being depressed about it. Too often we waste valuable energy speculating worst-case scenarios about what will happen, and we end up being depressed more from the scenarios that we have invented than the situation as it exists now! We have to train ourselves to focus on what needs to be done, and cut aside any extraenous thinking or worrying. I remember a prayer my mother had pinned up on the kitchen noticeboard ever since I was a child: “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” My mother wasn’t particularly religious, I guess it was just the profound wisdom contained within the prayer that appealed to her, the same as it does to me.

This is of course easier said than done – the mind can at times seem like a set of wild horses careering down the path of negativity regardless of the effect it has on your happiness. To tame those horses, what is needed is a regular practice of meditation. It won’t make negative thoughts go away overnight, but what it will do over time is strengthen your ability to focus on the here and now and stop mulling over what might never happen.

Keep a perspective

Negative news tends to fill up your entire thinking and crowd out all the positive aspects of life. Don’t let that happen! Keep things in perspective by considering all the blessings you have had so far in your life. We discussed the quality of gratitude a few blog posts back, and we would certainly recommend exploring some of the techniques posted there; it will help you see all the good things in your life as well as the bad.

It’s not the event itself; it’s how you interpret it

Be not afraid
Of destructive actions by others.
But be afraid
Of your own reaction to them.

– Sri Chinmoy

A common psychological model developed in the 1980’s postulated that people who attribute internal, stable and global causes to bad things that happen are much more likely to get depressed about them. What do we mean by that? By internal, we mean blaming ourselves rather than something outside ourselves. By stable, we feel that the current bad situation is going to last forever. And by global, we see this bad thing as evidence of a continuing run of hopelessness – for example saying “Oh, I can’t do anything right” or “it always turns out like that” – rather than seeing it as specific to that particular situation. All these ways of explaining a situation are merely reflex actions of the mind. When we can control our minds, we can accept each situation and deal with it as it is, without attributing blame, without feeling we will be trapped in that situation forever, and without seeing that bad situation as a further indication of how bad life is.

Stay inspired

Happiness is always accompanied by a tremendous sense of expansion – you feel a great sense of goodwill for everyone, and a sense of place in this vast world. In contrast, when bad news strikes, the tendency is to retreat behind the walls of your own castle and separate yourself from everyone; your thinking becomes largely focused on yourself and your predicament. Try every day to have a diet of inspirational reading or watching; this will help in turbulent times to release you from your self absorbed thought-prison and back on the road to actively look for a way forward. Read about other people who faced odds much greater than yours and triumphed. If they can do it, you can do it too!

How to Know the Right Thing to Do

There are few greater challenges than working out what is the right thing to do. Sometimes it can appear quite difficult working out what to choose. These are some suggestions for following our inner conscience and creating the life which will give us most satisfaction.

Be Still

To listen to the inner voice, we have to be able to still the mind and quieten our conflicting thoughts. We need to have a faith that something within us we have the wisdom to know our the right thing. To listen to our inner voice, we can try this technique. Repeat the question very carefully in silence and then try to maintain an inner silence for at least 5 minutes; we should not allow any thought to enter, but keep our mind absolutely quiet. At the end of our silent meditation we should have a clearer idea about what to do.

Does it Give You Peace or Anxiety?

If we feel inwardly awkward about a certain course of action, this is a sign that we are doing the wrong thing. When we are doing the right thing, it will be accompanied by a sense of inner peace. Even if others may not appreciate our action, as long as we are acting with the right motives and intentions, we will have a clear conscience and a sense of peace with our decision.

Continue reading “Listening to the Inner Voice”

“At the end of the sorrowful night
Truth appears and smilingly says,
“Beloved, fear no more.”

– Sri Chinmoy

The material advances of the world do not seem to have reduced the amount of fear that exists in our mind. When we fear we weaken ourselves and make it impossible to enjoy life as it is supposed to be enjoyed. To consciously enjoy life we need to throw away fear and retain optimism and a positive attitude to the world. To live without fear is quite possible.

Self Belief.

When we fear we consciously weaken ourselves. If we think of ourselves as an ant, then we will inevitably fear being trampled on. It is important to maintain faith in ourselves and a sense of self belief. This is not the pride of self aggrandisement, but belief in our inner self. If we maintain belief in our inner divinity, then we will not fear the world.

Don’t Judge Others

When we judge and condemn others, we ironically open ourselves upto being judged ourselves. When we pick up on the faults of others, we unconsciously strengthen these very same faults in ourself. Often we start criticising others to assert an unconscious sense of superiority over others; we do this partly out of fear. But, judging others is not a solution to fear; we only make it stronger.

Don’t Focus on Your Weakness / Sin.

If we focus on our ‘sins’ and weaknesses, we start to cherish a guilty conscience. This magnifies our weaknesses and problems, this will only create an attitude of fear. Instead we need to forget unpleasant experiences; it is sufficient to resolve to avoid repeating mistakes. We need to move on and think about the good things we are going to do. When we focus on the negative things we have done we become fearful of their consequences.

Continue reading “Living Without Fear”