How The Power of Selflessness can Transform our lives.

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“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.”

– Khalil Gibran

Is it possible for man to be completely selfless? A cynic may say not. But, selfless actions and thoughts are not only possible, but give a real sense of satisfaction and abiding happiness.

What do we mean by real selflessness? Selflessness means we act without thought for how we will profit or be rewarded. If we give help to others, but expect recognition or the favour to be returned, this is not a selfless action. True selflessness means we would do the action, even if it was never know to anyone else. Selflessness means we identify with others. Our service to others is not an act of condescending charity in helping others, our action is motivated by a feeling of oneness. We help others because we identify with their problems and their suffering. Selflessness is its own reward.

Benefits of selflessness

Conquers Pride.

In a true selfless action we are not acting to feed our ego and receive the flattery of the world; we are not acting out of competition or desire to prove ourself to others. Selflessness means we act out of a motivation to do the right thing and help others. By definition, selflessness cannot involve inflating our ego, it does exactly the opposite.

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How to maintain a lasting meditation practice

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Many people begin a meditation practice with tremendous enthusiasm and excitement about the possiblilities of self-discovery, only to let it go after a few weeks or months as the initial novelty wears off. How can you keep up a meditation practice and, in addition, continue it with the same inspiration and freshness as you had when you first began to meditate? Here are a few suggestions:

Set a proper time each day.

Quite often the reason why a meditation practice gets pushed to the sidelines is that we don’t value it enough compared to the other things we have going on in our life.

Valuing your meditation practice means setting aside a definite time each day – even if it is only 10 minutes – that is dedicated to meditation, and non-negotiable as regards moving/cancelling to make room for something else. The best time is undoubtedly as soon as you wake up in the morning. Firstly, there is much less likelihood of unforeseen distractions and secondly, the atmosphere is much more tranquil, allowing you to have deeper meditative experiences and take the inner peace from those experiences as you enter into the day.

Your own special space

It is best if you have some part of your house dedicated solely for the purpose of your daily meditation, a place set aside for yourself and your own self-discovery. You can decorate this space with anything that inspires you and brings the beautiful qualities in you to the fore – candles, pictures of mountains or sunsets or any nature scene, fresh flowers, a statue of the Christ or the Buddha if you are religiously inclined, beautiful poetry that inspires you to go deep within – you can really make this place your own Aladdin’s Cave of inner wealth and treasures, so that every time you sit down, you are automatically reminded of the goal of self-awareness you are striving for through meditation. As you go deeper into meditation, you will find out different things that inspire you, and you can continually update your meditation space to reflect that.

A constant sense of newness

A successful meditation practice requires a constant sense of aspiration to get in touch with your inner nature. You need to find ways to continually regenerate this sense of enthusiasm and not drift into a sense of ‘same-old, same-old’ and to do it out of routine – this has been the death-knell for many a meditation practice, as then the mind takes over and wonders why we are doing something so joyless in the first place.

Try changing elements of your meditation from time to time, incorporating readings, nature meditations, mantras, music or anything else that inspires you – if you have a spontaneous inner feeling to do something, then go with it! Another thing that also helps is setting yourself little meditative projects, for example setting aside extra time to meditate once a week, learning new meditative songs, or chanting a series of mantras over a couple of weeks. Rather than sitting on ones laurels and being content with the same measure of inner peace you had yesterday, a meditation practice should always have a sense of adventure and exploration deeper into the self.

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How to Gain the Respect of Others

sea-cloudsIt is interesting to consider why we instinctively respect some people, but others can be very hard to appreciate. Respect doesn’t necessarily mean we have to agree with everything they say; respect comes from people’s inner life, and the values and beliefs they hold. If someone is sincere, honest and self effacing it is easy to respect them, even if they believe in a different life philosophy. If we can understand why some people instinctively gain respect, we can learn to implement these characteristics in our own life.

Talk Less

We do not command respect by excessively talking. The oft repeated saying ‘actions speak louder than words’ is very applicable here. If we do the right thing and become the right person, we do not to justify our actions with words. Talking less does not mean that we ignore the power of the spoken word; it means that we speak when necessary. Don’t get worked up by every small incident; intervene only on important events. If we are judicious in speaking people will give more importance to our words. If we speak loudly on every minor issue, people will just start to swtich off.

True words aren’t eloquent;
eloquent words aren’t true.
Wise men don’t need to prove their point;
men who need to prove their point aren’t wise.

– Lao Tzu.Tao Te Ching Verse 81

Listen More

Everyone likes to have their own say. If we can patiently listen to others they will appreciate our concern and attention. Even if it is a little boring and repetitive, there is no harm in listening to what others have to say; listening to others shows that we are interested in them as a person. Listening more is the perfect complement to talking less. When we talk we try to influence others, when we listen we appreciate others; it is important to get the right balance.

Sincere Appreciation

There is a big difference between sincere appreciation, and flattery which hopes for similar words to be repaid in kind. Take the time to look for people and actions which really deserve appreciation and be generous in offering it to others. It is also important to be judicious in offering praise to others; if we do it all the time it starts to become insincere.

Non Judgemental

It is easy to build up lists of people we like and people we dislike. Our mind gets drawn to the faults of others, but if we are always picking up on the limitations and faults of others, it will diminish our own standing. To be non judgemental and accepting of others is a very powerful trait to develop. In society there can be a certain peer pressure to join in criticising others; there is a peer pressure to accept the gossip of the world. However, if we can be detached and non judgemental people will subconsciously respect our attitude a lot. To be really non judgemental, we should not even start criticising people who started the gossip. Our attitude can be – We have enough problems to deal with ourselves, without worrying about the failings of other people.

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How to Cope with Low Energy Levels

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Sometimes we go through periods in life when our body just doesn’t seem to be able to keep pace with all the things we want to squeeze out of life. I have been going through just such a period lately, and I thought I’d share with you some of the tips which really helped me in the last while.

1. Don’t be hard on yourself

Often we go experience a period of acute frustration and unhappiness because our level of output is failing to match our expectations. The phrase ‘beating yourself up’ is an extremely apt one here – the resulting annoyance only compounds the problem by robbing us even further of energy. The important thing here is to stop this train of thought, and start by acknowledging the conditions you find yourself in. In a game of poker, there is no point in cursing the fact that you didn’t get a royal flush – you play with the cards you are dealt. So it is with life. Being determined to deal with this trough of low energy as best and as cheerfully as you can is definitely half the battle to climbing your way clear of it.

2. Observe your surroundings

It could be that something in your environment is causing you to feel more tired than necessary. There are many things that can subtly exert a depressing influence on us – the food we eat, the continual barrage of upsetting news on Radio or TV, disharmony at work or home. Sometimes these under-the-weather stretches can even be a way of letting you know there is something you have to change. You have to become your own personal scientist and really look at everything you come across to see what little tweaks you can make to make things easier on yourself. I am often reminded of a story about Mahatma Gandhi – one day he had a headache. At this time he was living on only five pieces of fruit for nourishment. He tried adding and removing various things to his life, removing other things. Eventually he stopped taking his morning piece of fruit and the headache went away!

3 Learn to distinguish between lethargy and true need for rest.

Why is it that when we oversleep, we wake up feeling more tired than ever? Put simply, our body’s natural tendency is towards inertia and sleep, and it will often grab a mile if given an inch. It is this feeling of inertia that often stops us from getting out and doing things – sometimes we feel we are tired now, but when we get out and do something, it’s a whole different story.But – and this is is a big but – it is important to learn when the body is being lethargic and when it genuinely needs rest. If persisting with some activity makes you tired, unhappy and susceptible to negative thinking, then it is a definite signal you are pushing beyond your capacity. Many scientists reckon we sleep more than we need, but there are definitely also times when we need more rest, for example when coping with a transformative experience in our lives. With time, you learn to distinguish between lethargy and genuine need for rest and listen to what your body needs than what it wants.

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Do These Habits Prevent You from Enjoying Life?

deckchairWe are creatures of habit, but unfortunately the habits we pick up often limit our happiness and sense of fulfilment. The worst habit we can have is the inability to make any changes, but continue with a perpetual negative attitude. If we can recognise our own bad habits we can create the necessary steps to making meaningful changes in our life. These are some of our most common bad habits in modern life.

Constantly Busy

Is your life constantly hectic, with a never ending strain on your time and nerves? Do you have time to enjoy the finer things of life? Sometimes, even the most financially successful people find it difficult to create leisure time where we can relax and be at peace. It is always possible to create activity and things to do, but many of these activities are invariably non essential. Modern technology is supposed to help make life easier, not make us constantly busy. Learn how to let go of things like email addiction – create time for yourself and your own relaxation. How to Find Time for Relaxation

Getting up Late

The best part of the day is often the morning. Yet, the mind and body can be uncooperative, causing us to sleep in for longer than necessary. It is a shame to waste so many hours. Create good sleeping habits, that help you to get up early in the morning; once you have got used to more hours in the morning you will not want to go back to having more sleep than necessary. 8 Ways to get better sleep
Worrying About Money

We cannot avoid financial issues, but we can prevent them from dominating our lives. Sometimes money worries occur because we create ever increasing levels of personal debt. This can be due to unnecessary overspending or poor financial management. Don’t feel happiness is dependent on levels of consumption; if we avoid overspending and creating debt we can avoid much mental anguish. At the other end of the scale, even people who are financially successful can still give too much priority to money. There is more to life than just earning money; don’t use every moment of your life to think how you can increase your wealth. Don’t sacrifice current opportunities and your current happiness just to save money for when you retire. Have a positive attitude to money that doesn’t allow financial concerns to dominate your life.

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New Blog Author

I’m pleased to be able to introduce a new author for our blog – Shane Magee.

Shane is a good friend  from Dublin, Ireland and is a member of the Dublin Sri Chinmoy Centre. He is a good writer and is also interested in self improvement. Shane is also, very nearly, a sub 3 hour marathon runner and has a website of running tips: All About Running  – Running Tips from the Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team
It is hard to believe, if you ever met Shane, but he also has a phD in Physics.

Like myself, Shane also teaches meditation classes, so we look forward to a great diversity of self improvement articles (but, I promise no Astro Physics….)

Shane will be writing 1 article per week on Thursdays or Fridays.

10 Effective Ways to Simplify Your Life

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“Our life is frittered away by detail… Simplify, simplify, simplify! … Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.”

– Henry David Thoreau

It is a good question whether modern society has led to an improvement in living standards. We have an unprecedented level of material prosperity, but often it seems to come at the price of increased complexity and stress. However, there is no reason why we cannot have the best of both worlds; taking advantage of modern technology and enjoying the simplicity of living in the present moment. If you feel life is too stressful and complicated these are some tips to simplify your life.

Give Priority to the essentials of life.

Sometimes we can allow small problems to escalate and dominate our lives. If we get overcharged a few cents, it is irritating, but don’t allow it to ruin your day. There will always be small issues to irritate us, the secret is to be able to give them the importance they deserve. The essentials of life is cultivating happiness; if small unimportant things overwhelm us, then we will not be able to enjoy life as it should be.

Don’t Worry about Pleasing everyone.

If you try to please everyone, you will undoubtedly fail, plus you will not make yourself happy. Consider what is the right thing to do, rather than what other people expect you to do. Don’t feel guilty if people are disappointed with how you act and choose. It is not your responsibility to please their unreasonable expectations.

Happiness is not Found is fulfilling All Desires

It is a useful exercise, to write down how many desires and wishes that we have. If we are honest, we will find the list to be very long. Often it involves a hope that other people will behave in a certain way. Alternatively, we think that if we can gain greater financial security all our problems will dissipate. However, fulfilling all our desires is not the way to gain happiness. The fulfillment of all desires is inevitably impossible and creates a sense of frustration because we cannot get what we want. Instead, minimise the list of desires and be content with what we have.

Don’t listen to the fears of the mind.

It is our own mind that can create fears and complications in life. If we give importance to these self generated problems, life will feel complex and troublesome. Furthermore, most worries are based on false fears; simplify your life by suspending disbelief and anxiety. Live in the present moment, leave the problems of tomorrow for another day.

Detachment

Life can feel like a never ending soap opera, there are always problems for us to deal with. Detachment doesn’t mean aloofness, detachment means we will offer service to others without expectation of reward or expectation of a certain outcome. Don’t feel personally responsible for other people’s lives. Do what you think is the right thing, but be detached from the outcome.

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Photo By: Tejvan, (April 2007 Oxford, Radcliffe Camera)

The Zen of Success

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What is success and how can we achieve it?

Success and Happiness

Does success leave you feeling satisfied and sincerely happy, or does it just leave you just striving for more? Some people have difficulty enjoying success because whatever they achieve is not enough. It is like fulfilling one desire, only to have 2 take its place. We have to learn to enjoy our success, if we cannot be at peace with ourselves is it really success?

Working with Others

‘no man is an island’ – John Donne.

If we seek to succeed on our own, we cut ourselves off from the support and guidance of others. Often when we try to succeed on our own we bring to the fore our pride and ego; there is a feeling of self-sufficiency that makes us unwilling to take the necessary help of others. We need to feel that success is not just about ourselves, but a team effort. Even if one persons succeeds in rowing solo across the Atlantic, they will feel some appreciation for their trainer, and the mechanic who helped prepare for the task. It is not possible to do everything on your own. If you feel oneness with others you will gain more happiness from your success. If you try to keep all the success just for you, you limit your possibilities.

Vision

To succeed we need to have a clear vision of what we wish to achieve; it is important to keep these aspirations in the forefront of our mind. We need to have a clarity of purpose and intent that will keep us focused. It is this belief and vision that will prevent us from being discouraged by critics and nay-sayers. The world can be a negative place; it is easier to disbelieve and criticise than it is to encourage people of vision. If you want to succeed and achieve something new, there will be an inevitable resistance from some parts of society. Success depends on a clarity of focus which prevents being deterred and held back by others.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”

— Henry David Thoreau

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Real Happiness and the Heart

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Recently, I wrote an article for Pick the Brain – 6 characteristics of happiness.

John Wesley also wrote an interesting discussion about the meaning of happiness here.

I think in some ways, everyone is trying to aim for more happiness in life; sometimes people’s methods may seem strange but our decisions tend to be driven from what we think will be good for us. In a sense, everyone is trying in their own way to do the right thing. However, the problem is that what we think will bring happiness often doesn’t. Because it is so important, it is worth taking the time to think carefully what really brings happiness. We also need to have a willingness to challenge long cherished beliefs.

Since the age of 18, I have been a ‘seeker’ consciously looking for what gives genuine happiness and satisfaction. I have pursued many different strategies, read many books and tried many things. From all these I feel that the most fruitful way to cultivate happiness is ‘to live in the heart’ As an academic and believer in the power of the mind, this hasn’t always been easy, but, these are some of the characteristics of living in the heart.

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