Happiness will follow you

Prayer is said to be an act of communication between yourself and the Divine. It can be expressed in words, feelings or actions. In particular, prayer usually involves requesting a certain boon. In one sense we are praying all the time, it is just that there are many different levels and types of prayer; we may not even class it as prayer, but just hold various wishes and desires that we would like to come true.
Prayer can vary from the purely selfish ‘O Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedez-Benz’ to the lofty utterance of Christ ‘Not my will but thine be done’. Here are some different types of prayer from the lowest to the highest.

Bring Other People Down.

It is a sad fact of human nature that sometimes we are more concerned with bringing people down, and not concentrating on our own upliftment. This kind of prayer is usually motivated out of jealousy or insecurity. Here we wish to see others fail and remain unfulfilled. Usually we wouldn’t dignify this kind of wish with the term prayer, but it may be a belief we secretly hold.

Poor Me Prayer

Complaint is the largest tribute heaven receives and the sincerest part of our devotion.

~Jonathan Swift

Another type of prayer is to half wish for something, but have a strong feeling we don’t deserve to get it. For example, we may pray to have successful relationships with other people, but at the same time we hold thought patterns that are self-destructive for relationships. We pray for harmony in our dealing with others, but lack the self-belief and inner happiness to make it a reality. Here we would be better of praying to overcome the root cause and not merely a symptom. It also brings to mind the old Indian proverb

Call on God, but row away from the rocks

In other words, it is good to pray, but we also have to make sure we avoid having the wrong attitude.

Material Wealth

This is a simple prayer for material wealth, and success in the outer life. We feel that, if only, we can get that car, new job or material security then we will be happy. This is the kind of prayer that may or not be answered. But, the richest person on earth may be completely bankrupt of inner peace. It is often the case that when we get a new car, it isn’t long before we would like the next best model or another car; there is no end to this kind of prayer.

Pray for Health.

Often humans only pray when we are in great danger. Bad luck and bad health is a powerful reminder that even the most powerful person on earth can’t be entirely self-sufficient. To pray for good health is good. When we are sick and suffering, we tend to be more unhappy; to have good health helps us to be in a better consciousness and make progress. However, we can never know or not whether this prayer will work. Sometimes our soul may want to have certain experiences, sometimes it may be God’s Will for someone to leave the body. We cannot stay on earth forever. To make progress, the soul may need to depart the body. Therefore, it is best to pray for good health and a long life, but also with detachment. We pray to be healthier, but if we cannot regain full health we should also pray for the right attitude to deal with the illness. Then our physical illness can be an opportunity to make progress and not just a source of frustration.

Spiritual Qualities.

This is a prayer for inner qualities. It is not for anything in the material world. But, for peace, love and joy. It is a prayer to be aware of our deeper sense of self. It is a prayer of spiritual aspiration that will help us face any situation we are in.

Meditation

In prayer we speak to God, and try to ask for something; there is a feeling we lack and need more. In meditation, we list to God. We keep our mind and emotions still, we try to be aware of the vast Consciousness within. In a way meditation is a form of prayer because we are selflessly growing into that which we would pray. Prayer and meditation are like two sides of the same coin, each ultimately going to the same destination.

“When we pray, we ask God for what we want. But when we meditate, God showers on us everything that we need.”

– Sri Chinmoy [1. Prayer and Meditation at Sri Chinmoy.org]
Not my will but thine be done.

Sri Chinmoy says the loftiest prayer was uttered by the Saviour Christ ‘Not my will but thine be done.’ [Luke 22:42] In this prayer we wish to become one with God’s will, with God’s consciousness. It is an awareness that if we can become one with our Source, then we will lack for nothing and all our prayers will be answered. We tend to be nervous of wholeheartedly offering this prayer. We feel that God’s Will will impinge on our freedom, but the great mystics and saints teach that only when we attain self-realisation, (Nirvana, God Realisation, Salvation) can we really experience the real bliss of being.

They say that prayer is the daughter of suffering.
But I say that prayer is the mother of delight

– Sri Chinmoy

Related

• What to Pray For

Artwork top:

Vilas Silverton, Bristol Sri Chinmoy Centre.

Often we feel powerless, a victim of circumstances. Yet, other people seem ‘lucky’ they are able to attract fortunate events and positive people. On some level, we do have much creative power. Unfortunately, we are using this creative energy in a negative way, creating difficult relationships and difficult circumstances. Yet, we can create much better circumstances if we try.

Feel it is Possible.

We need to have faith a better world is possible. If we have faith in negativity – that will be our experience. If we have faith in a positive experience, then we will be able to experience that.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

— Albert Einstein

Choosing To Be Happy.

Having faith in a better life is also choosing to have positive experiences. We constantly have a choice of how we react to events and how we think. One way will give us more joy than another, yet for certain reasons we don’t always choose the attitude that gives happiness. Therefore we need to make a clear and conscious decision to be happy.

Constant Practise.

It is not enough to say on one occasion – ‘I’d like to have better circumstances’. This single, positive (and rather feeble) thought will soon be outweighed by the countless negative thoughts and negative expectations that we will have. It is like a weighing scale, at the least, we need more positive thoughts and feelings than negative thoughts.

Gratitude.

The great saints and mystics frequently talk about the spontaneous gratitude they feel. The mystic sees the beauty and joy in the world. By being grateful to the joyful and beautiful, we are able to attract exactly that. Soulful gratitude has tremendous creative power. Also, don’t just be grateful for what you have experienced, be grateful for the beautiful things you will experience.

Cultivate the Beautiful and Good

If we try to fight negativity by negation, we can go around in circles. If we constantly think ‘I must stop being a negative person’ we can reinforce the impression of our own negativity. It is much better to visualise and concentrate on becoming a positive and kind person.

Uplift Others.

I am very happy
Because I have conquered myself
And not the world.

I am very happy
Because I have loved the world
And not myself.

– Sri Chinmoy

We will never create better circumstances at the expense of others. If we feel we will be happier by embarrassing and criticising other people, this is not a real improvement in happiness. It is a false happiness that relies on success at the expense of others. The easiest way to make our circumstances better is to be a more thoughtful and caring person. When we put others well being above our own, we learn to be selfless and this gives a sense of true happiness. This does not mean we have to go around giving money to street beggars. Our service to be others shouldn’t be ostentatious. We give most help by merely offering our good will and looking for the best in others.

Non-Judgemental

We make life hard by being so judgemental. We should be less judgemental and be more of an observer. We should observe if we like a part of ourselves. If we notice we are prone to depression or anger, make the conscious decision to reject that part of yourself. See it as a passing emotion that doesn’t reflect your true self, instead choose something positive.

Meditate and Concentrate

Thought has great power. But, silence has even more power. If we can still the mind and enter into silence, we can get in touch with the deeper part of our self. This silent self has a connection to the underlying cosmic spirit, and this is the most effective way to create a more fulfilling and positive experience.

Related

• How To Create Your Day

• Positive Thinking – benefits and limitations
• How To Turn Your Life around

Photo, Tejvan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.

Nobody likes to suffer but, consciously or unconsciously, we sometimes invite suffering and pain. It is one of the paradox of human nature, we profess to want happiness, but part of us holds onto suffering. Why is this the case?

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.”

– Sophocles

How Do We Invite Suffering?

Unconsciously Cherishing Suffering.

This can be hard to admit, but sometimes we can a subtle sense of attachment to our suffering. There is part of us that feels we need this experience of suffering. We feel sorry for ourself, yet this has a certain appeal to the ego; it gives us a (false) sense of identity.

Cry For Help. When we suffer part of us imagines it will attract sympathy and attention from other people.

“Most people don’t mind suffering in silence as long as everyone else knows about it.”

– Croft M Pentz, [1. The Complete Book of Zingers]

By displaying our suffering it is really a call for help, however, if we get attached to this sympathy and attachment, it can unconsciously encourage us to create a degree of suffering. However, we need to learn that we don’t need to create suffering to feel loved. See: Difference between Love and Emotional Attachment.

The Mind’s Conditioning. We often associate certain people, events or situations with an unpleasant experience. Whenever a particular event happens we feel we have to suffer. Now admittedly some things really are painful, if we hold a hand over the fire, it will hurt and no amount of positive thinking will change the fact your hand is burning. But, in many cases, it is the mind’s reaction that creates 90% of suffering. This is particularly the case when dealing with other people. For example, we may feel it painful to have to deal with a certain person. However, this is the kind of event that we can change. Rather than fearing the other person we can change the way we think about that relationship. If we don’t allow ourselves to think of negative thoughts, we can be happy whatever the character of the other person.

Do not overvalue
Your suffering-world.
Lo, it will vanish
Even faster
Than you can open your eyes.

– Sri Chinmoy [2. Excerpt from Ten Thousand Flower-Flames, Part 12, #1102 by Sri Chinmoy]

Repeating the Same Experience

Have you noticed how often we invite the same experience again and again? It can almost become a daily routine. We get up, and we get annoyed with some one living in the house over the same thing. We go to work and we get annoyed with the same work-colleague for the same character flaw. There seems no escape because the particular experience always triggers the same feeling of anger, frustration and helplessness.

We can try moving to the Himalayas, but we will carry the same reaction and feelings with us. Even if we don’t see the situation in the physical, the mind may dwell on the same thought patterns. We will find it gets repeated where ever we go. We cannot change the event and person, we can only change our reaction to it. We have to learn how to stop our negative thoughts, whatever other people might be doing.

Deeper Seed Thoughts.

On the surface level we may have thoughts, such as, I want to get better, I want to be happy. But, what about the deeper thoughts underneath? Do we visualise a life without suffering and happiness or do we expect life to be a struggle and painful?

Suffering and Progress.

Part of us may feel that if we suffer, somehow we are making progress. It is considered desirable to ‘suffer in silence’. Sometimes religion has promoted suffering as noble in itself. However, suffering doesn’t help. When we suffer, we feel miserable; our consciousness descends, and when we are unhappy we tend to invite negative things into our life. When we have unavoidable pain like physical illness, it is good to try and be detached and not make a big deal of it. We have to deal with it in right way.; but, sometimes we think if we have more suffering we will make more progress, but this is not correct. When we suffer we don’t make any progress. We make progress when happy.

Some of my friends at work were discussing theories and prophecies of 2012. They knew I practise meditation and have a spiritual teacher so they asked me for my opinion.

To be honest, I didn’t have an opinion, as I’ve never been interested in this kind of prophecy. It seems there are always some kind of theories and prophecies that mainly create sensation and curiosity.

Sometimes, people would ask Sri Chinmoy, my spiritual teacher, about things like this, but, he would usually be vague saying sometimes prophecies came true, sometimes they didn’t, but, how does it help to know the future? He would then  turn the question around asking how we were trying to become better citizens of the world.

Try not to change the world.
You will fail.
Try to love the world.
Lo, the world is changed.
Changed forever.

– Sri Chinmoy

From a spiritual point of view, the only important time is now. Whether the world undergoes great changes in 2012, 2112 or never, is not something we can affect, but how we live in this present moment is.

Ego and Speculation

Sometimes the mind gets a certain fascination from hearing about potential cataclysmic events. There can also be a sense of pride if we feel we are the witness to  secret prophecies the majority of people don’t know about. It is a subtle sense of ego and pride.

But, the real knowledge is nothing esoteric and secret.

When the power of love
Replaces the love of power
Man will have a new name:
God.

– Sri Chinmoy

The important thing in life is very simple. Our heart loves this simplicity, but, unfortunately, our mind is not always satisfied.

St Therese of Lisieux writes “Our Lord needs from us neither great deeds nor profound thoughts. Neither intelligence nor talents. He cherishes simplicity.”

It is the nature of the earth to change. Nothing in this world stays the same. There is constant change, evolution. At times this change can seem confusing without any clear plan. When we try to work out what may happen in the future, we will just be confused. What we can do is to try and work on ourselves. By becoming a better person is the best way to leave the world in a better place.

Related

• How To Change the World For the Better

Do not
Blame the world.
Find
A solution.

– Sri Chinmoy [1. Jewels of Happiness p.9, Sri Chinmoy,]

Human nature often wants to blame other people and the rest of the world for our problems. How many times do we think – if only? But, complaining never makes us happy, nor does it solve our problems. If we can learn how to look at a problem, half its strength goes away. What are the solutions to our problems?

Is it Really a Problem?

Often our problems are imaginary, we perhaps feel slighted by someone else, we fear others are thinking ill of ourselves. In these situations it is the emotional vital that is affected by pride, jealousy or insecurity. But actually, most of these emotions are just our imagination. It is not a real problem we have to deal with, but, our own passing emotions. If we can let go of these imaginary problems, it will be a big weight off our shoulders.

The Mind Exaggerates

The mind has a tendency to exaggerate the extent of a problem. If you allow your mind to think about the problem in circles, the problem becomes magnified out of proportion. If we are able to get out of this train of thought by doing something completely different we can almost forget all about the problem.

Success and Failure

We apt to value only success, and when things are easy. This is understandable, but, to make any appreciable journey there will always be difficulties. In the life of Abraham Lincoln so many setbacks he had. Yet, in a way these setbacks were essential parts of his life experience, that made him the person he was. Similarly, difficult times, force us to bring some disguised quality to the fore; it gives us extra strength and inner reserves. A setback or failure is not just an unsolvable problem, but part of the bigger cycle of life.

We Are Only Responsible For Ourselves.

Do you want to change the world?
Then change yourself first.
Do you want to change yourself?
If so, remain completely silent
Inside the silence-sea.

– Sri Chinmoy [2. Excerpt from Ten Thousand Flower-Flames, Part 40 by Sri Chinmoy]

The only person we are responsible for ourselves is ourself. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves. Usually, human nature instinctively is drawn to the faults of others, and we ignore the metaphorical plank in our own eye. Thus we always see insolvable problems.

We can love the world without expectation, but, we can never expect the world to rise upto our perceived standards.

Related

• No Complaints
• Poems about Change

What is will power? Will power is the ability to do what we set out to do, without being sidetracked by doubt, hesitation and temptation. Will-power is the soul force which enables us to transcend the limitations of our self.

A person without will power is easily swayed and influenced. Without will-power we can feel a helpless victim to circumstances, other people, and our own thoughts.

To develop will power is to develop greater self-control and release our own hidden potential.

How To Develop Will Power

Exercise the Muscle.

Will-power should be seen like a muscle. If we train our muscle it gets stronger. If we don’t it gets weaker. Will power is not a heredity condition. It is something that we can develop.

Clear Focus.

Will power involves being one pointed and achieving a certain goal. If we are not entirely clear what we want to do, it is difficult to focus our will to doing it. When we attempt to do something, we need the co-operation of all parts of ourself. Don’t be in two minds, but decide exactly what you need to do and stick to it.

Will Power For the Positive.

It is better to develop will power for a positive goal, rather than using our will power to negate something.

“The easiest way to use will-power is to take the positive approach. Use will-power to do something positive, not to keep yourself from doing something negative. If we say, “I shall not tell a lie,” that is important. But if we say, “I shall tell the truth,” that will-power is more effective. When we say, “I won’t do it,” already the negative thing has half its power just because we are thinking about it. If we repeat in our mind, “I won’t be jealous,” the word ‘jealous,’ the negative quality that it embodies, ruins our mind and then we do become jealous.”

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

Ignore Silly thoughts.

It is human nature, that when we attempt something, silly thoughts appear in our mind to try and put us off. These thoughts have to be ignored. We have to see them as foreign entities. If we listen and accept every silly thought that comes into our mind, we will have no will power because our hyperactive mind will pull us in many different directions.

Concentration

Concentration and will-power are closely linked. If we develop our concentration which is our ability to remain one-pointed, we are at the same time developing our will power. See: Concentration exercise.

Never Give Up.

Will power doesn’t mean we have to always achieve at our first attempt. If we get pulled off our target, pay no attention and don’t allow despondency to enter. We need to keep trying. Persistence and patience are essential components of will-power.

Make It Easy Not Hard

If you want to give up smoking, avoid situations which encourage the craving. If you want to have the will-power to avoid chocolate, you wouldn’t buy the most tempting chocolates and invite your friends to come and eat them in front of you. Will-power also involves common sense to help us achieve our goal.

Understand Benefits and Costs.

To achieve something we need to understand benefits and costs. If we truly value what we are aiming at then we will develop the perseverance to continue struggling for it.

Use of Will Power

Will-power is one thing, but it also has to be directed in right direction. Napoleon undoubtedly had great will-power, but that doesn’t mean we have to become another Napoleon. Often the most important use of will-power is using it to become a better person. It is to be free of our own limitations fear, doubt and jealousy. This will-power to be happy is definitely worth growing.

Related

Effective Ways to Get Out of A Negative Mindset

(1) Sri Chinmoy Speaks Part 5

Photo Pavitrata Taylor, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”

– Lao Tzu

There are many things we need to do. One of them is letting go of our unfortunate mistakes, habits, thoughts and experiences. At times we also need to let go of other people, we need to move on from the past and look towards the future. If we hang onto the unfortunate experiences of the past, this is what we will carry forward into the present. There is a well known story of the Zen monk who wanted to know why he couldn’t gain enlightenment. His Master replied – how can a full cup be filled up? To fill a cup with honey, we must first empty the water from the cup. It is the same with enlightenment, we have to let go of what is in our mind, for new, enlightening experiences to enter in.

What do we need to Let Go of?

Letting Go of Bad Habits

There are many things that we cling onto out of habit, which really don’t help. Sometimes we have a habit that we don’t really want, but part of us still clings to it. It is like the camel continuing to eat thorns, even though it is causing camel pain. We fail to make a complete break because subtly we have a lingering attachment. If we resolve to get rid of a negative habit like being jealous of other people, we have to make it complete. Just because we always do something doesn’t mean that a) it is a good thing to do b) we are compelled to do it. Look at our daily activities and see what we would be happy to change.

Things we Have No Control of.

Many things happen in life, that we can in no way influence. It may be the behaviour of other people, it may be events in society, even our own government. Having these problems revolve around in our mind will change nothing, except to make us unhappy at our perceived helplessness and misfortune. These are the kind of things we have to let go of. This is not indifference to problems in society, it is just realising what we can and can’t do.

Letting Go of The Past.

To think of the past
Is indeed a painful task.
To carry the past
Is indeed a fruitless burden.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

Something that has happened in the past we cannot change. If we carry unfortunate experiences around in our mind, it is like a heavy weight that clouds our state of mind and makes life a struggle. To let go of the past, and enable new experiences to enter is the most positive approach. Even if the past is good, we shouldn’t feel that this former experience is the pinnacle of our life. This can breed a complacency and make us just yearn to hold onto the ‘golden days’. We have to keep moving forward looking for an even brighter future.

The Inevitability of Change.

Whether we like it or not, life will unmistakably teach us the inevitability of change. We have no choice but to let go of things. We will lose ou physical capacities; we will lose friends, family, money – anything can be lost at any moment. However, change is not a bad thing if we are cheerful and accept it as part of life. Human nature is to seek improvement and new experiences. If everything were to remain static, we would get bored and life would feel stifled. We would never be able to realise our potential.

Mind’s Preconceptions.

If we analyse our mind and the thoughts that come, we will soon feel there are many things that are good to let go of. Not least, our preconceptions and pre-judgements of other people. Our mind can be very bad at projecting false motives onto other people. If we can let go of these, we will be much happier (and better people)

How to Let Go

It is one thing to know we should let go of thoughts and experiences, but, human nature is to cling onto things, even when it causes suffering and cannot help. Firstly, we have to make a clear decision to let go of our thought / habit. It is no good if part of us wants to let go, but part of us still wants to hold on.

Looking forward.

To let go of the past is much easier when we spend our energies cultivating a better future, living in the present moment. If we are active in a positive way, we don’t have time to dwell on the past.

Don’t Fight Nature.

Nature and life are always in a state of flux. We need to realise this world is fleeting and ephemeral, change is inevitable. But, do we always want to stay exactly where we are? There is nothing to fear about moving forward. Life is nothing if not a journey of discovery.

Real Love / Attachment.

We often mistake love for clinging onto people. But, this is just emotional attachment. Real love is compatible with letting go on an external level. The real, all embracing love, does not have to be confined to certain people and small areas of the past.

Related

• Letting Go of Anger
• Dealing with Mistakes
• Living Without Fear

(1) Ten Thousand Flower Flames Part 63 by Sri Chinmoy

Photo by Pranlobha, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

What Does it Mean to Be Free?

Having just sat through an insipid world cup performance by my team England, I have realised how my mood can easily be disturbed by 11 football players failing to pass a football ball as well as I expect them to. I mean they were dreadful, but,  should I be letting myself be affected by things outside my control? Well the world cup is only every four years, and I will always be a glutton for punishment (by nature I’m an optimist – I can’t help but always think this time we can win). But, football aside, we need to develop an inner freedom, a state of mind which can be free from the innumerable worries and anxieties of life. Real inner freedom is a state where we can remain unaffected by disturbing thoughts and ideas.

Inner Freedom

To Feel Negative Thoughts as Separate Entities.

Socrates once went to a noted sage. The sage told Socrates and his followers that Socrates had all the human limitations of anger, pride and jealousy.

His followers were shocked and interrupted to criticise the sage, saying they saw Socrates as a saint. However, the sage, said, ‘let me finish. It is true that he has all these negative qualities, but Socrates doesn’t let them affect him.’

As we aspire for a better life, human weaknesses will continue crop up. We cannot remain totally unaffected by old thought habits and emotions. However, we don’t have to give our acceptance and full support to these negative thoughts and emotions. We can feel these negative thoughts and emotions as separate to our real self. If we see these thoughts and emotions as separate and outside our self, then we can remain free from there power. We can remain centred in our real self. This is the secret of inner freedom because we can detach from thoughts and emotions that drag us down and round in circles.

We can have all the outer freedom we want to live exactly as we want. But, if we unable to let go of jealousy and insecurity, then we are not free to be inwardly happy; we will be constantly limiting ourself.

To be Free of Desires we Don’t Want.

It is the nature of desire to remain unfulfilled or be disappointed. The more desires we have, the more prone to disappointment we will be. There are still good things to aim for. There is no harm in aspiring to be a better person and to achieve worthwhile goals. But, to limit material desires, and desires from other people lifts a great pressure off our state of mind. If we have innumerable desires we always feel a sense of dissatisfaction until they fulfilled in our own way. We can become a slave of our desires, making us sacrifice worthwhile principles to get what we want. Yet, even when we get our desire, we soon realise it isn’t the secret of inner peace and contentment. Inner freedom is to be the master of our own desire.

To be Free from Peer Pressure

Friends, society and government consciously or unconsciously place expectations on our behaviour, attitude and actions. There is a pressure to conform to certain pre-conceived attitudes. If you look over the past 100-200 years, you can see how concepts of morality and reasonable behaviour are constantly changing. To be free from these subtle pressures is essential to give us our inner peace and enable us to be inwardly free.

To be free from peer pressure doesn’t mean we have to be the natural born rebel, always trying to shock people; this can become it’s own ideology. Having a shocking hairstyle is not the be all and end all or symbol of inner freedom. The real secret is the inner attitude. It is to quietly question prevailing values like materialistic goals; it is to have the self-confidence and inner faith to live as we feel inwardly inspired.

Knowing our Real Self.

“What is false freedom? False freedom is our constant and deliberate acceptance of ignorance and our conscious existence in ignorance. What is real freedom? Real freedom is our conscious awareness of our inner divinity, and our constant inseparable oneness with the Inner Pilot.”

– Sri Chinmoy (1)
To be really free, we have to be able live in our real self. The self that is spontaneous, happy, non-judgemental and cheerful. It is the childlike quality we all have within us. It is this source of human creativity and real joy. We have all felt this at some times in our life. We feel uninhibited and can access that creative aspect of ourselves. We can know this real self through living in the heart – living away from the critical mind; it is something we can access through meditation and contemplation. The irony is this inner freedom requires discipline.

Related

(1) Excerpt from The Tears Of Nation-Hearts by Sri Chinmoy

Photo Tejvan,