Judgemental People

newcollege

We are constantly judging other people, our self and situations. It can feel like life is a constant reality TV show with a panel of judges always in evidence. But, the judgemental nature of the mind, will neither give us peace or happiness. To attain a real inner peace, we have to go far beyond the judgemental game of inferiority and superiority.

Why Be Less Judgemental

We Suffer

When we judge others, it’s hard to not have a feeling (consciously or unconsciously) of superiority / pride. When we judge others we lower our own consciousness.

“If we judge others with our unlit human mind, with the intellectual mind, with the sophisticated mind, the persons whom we judge do not lose an iota of their achievement, of their reality. But we lose. How do we lose? When we start doubting others, we offer something of our own existence to the outer world something of our own reality goes and eventually we become very weak.”

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

We may be Wrong.

When judging others we are often judging only a small part of their nature. It may even be second hand information. We may hear someone’s opinion and take it as gospel. But, who is to say they haven’t put their own slant and perspective on the other person. Even when we seem someone first hand we may misunderstand their motives or inner attitude. We can never know what is going on inside a person. Every is fighting their own battles and trying to be a better person in their own way. We cannot expect every to be at the stage of sainthood in this incarnation.

How would we want to be judged?

When we do something good, of course, we want the whole world to know about it. But, when we do something bad or unfortunate we would really like it to be kept quiet. If we take delight in people’s misfortunes then it is a big mistake, and it is likely to happen to us.

How To Be Less Judgemental

Be Sympathetic

When we see someone doing something wrong, we can feel that this is something we could be doing wrong ourselves. Ironically, when we criticise faults in others, we often have the same faults ourselves. If we remember we are as prone to misjudgement and doing the wrong thing then it gives us more compassion and understanding.

Be supportive not critical.

Judging others rarely helps to change others behaviour for the better. Being supportive can change.

Concentrate on Being Happy.

When we get bogged down in judging others, we wont gain much happiness. Happiness comes from enjoying the good things in life, not in giving sermons on the failings of the world.

Look Upon People as an Extended Family.

If someone close to us does something wrong we are more willing to forgive and see their better qualities. When judging friends or work colleagues see them as an extended part of your self / family, this will give us a more sympathetic approach.

Being Right Isn’t the Most Important Thing.

In judging others, there is a strong desire to be right and show others as wrong. But life isn’t all about being right. It’s about quietly making a positive contribution.

Judge Only Yourself.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye” Matthew 7:3

If we have to judge, why not judge yourself and see how you can improve yourself as a person? Don’t make the mistake of blaming your difficulties on others. Difficulties come from some defect in our own character.

Dealing With Judgemental People.

Some people are very judgemental. They have a habit of making us feel small / guilty. It also encourages us to be judgemental in response. We either seek to defend ourselves or start judging others – joining in their game of judging people.

It can also be difficult to disagree with judgemental people, as they often can have deep conviction in their beliefs.

The best way of dealing with judgemental people is not to directly challenge them, but, allow them to go their way, whilst we maintain our quiet approach. Don’t worry about having the last word or defending yourself. If they are really making unfair criticisms of friends, you can always point to their good qualities. But, you are unlikely to change their nature so don’t expect too much.

Related

(1) Warriors of the Inner World by Sri Chinmoy

Photo Top, Tejvan, New College, Oxford

Overcoming Weaknesses

glastonbury

Sometimes it feels quite easy to write what you want you should do. In fact, when you write everything down the task of self-improvement looks quite easy! But, alas, knowing what to do is only part of the problem. Even when we have resolved what we want to do, part of our human nature can cling to its old habits, emotions and thought patterns. Even when we no longer want to pursue a certain emotion, it still can come to the fore despite our mental rejection.

Sometimes, it can feel like there are two parts to our self. There is the one positive part aspiring for a better consciousness. At times we glimpse this and feel a sincere happiness. At other times, we can feel overpowered by some undesirable aspect of our nature.

The first thing to bear in mind, is that everyone has this experience of making a few steps forward and a few steps backwards. It is necessary to accept our transformation takes time. – See: Changing yourself by accepting yourself. It is often just when we think we have made great progress and overcome some emotion like anger, that it re-appears out of nowhere and takes us by surprise. Human nature does take a long time to transform. But, when we experience the stubbornness of our own nature, it is important to bear in mind a few things.

  • Don’t be depressed or mad with yourself for a temporary relapse. By becoming depressed over our weaknesses, we only strengthen them. A feeling of guilt or despondency is also very unhelpful. If we see it is a inevitable step in our self improvement then it loses much of its power. See: Avoiding Self Pity
  • At the same time, we must distance ourselves from this emotion. We shouldn’t give it any mental support. By distancing ourselves from our negative emotion, it helps us to detach and slowly the experience will dissipate.
  • A quiet but firm resolve to overcome any difficulty is the most effective way of quickly overcoming them. We should avoid elation at a good experience and despondency at depressing experiences. But, we do need flexibility and a willingness to give up old thought patterns and habitual responses.

I enjoy peace
Only when I am not afraid
Of changing my stubborn mind.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

  • Don’t Over Analyse / focus on your Negative Qualities. The best way to overcome negative qualities is simply to aspire for more light and concentrate on doing the right thing.
  • Any experience is an opportunity to transcend the quality we want to. We need to maintain a careful balance between self criticism and self encouragement

Related

(1) Excerpt from Peace-Blossom-Fragrance, Part 1 by Sri Chinmoy

photo Tejvan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.

A Clearer Mind

mind

“When we are clear in heart and mind—only then shall we find courage to surmount the fear which haunts the world,”

– Albert Einstein

When we have worries and problems going around in our mind, we feel like there is a heavy weight holding us down. Sometimes, these mental problems build up slowly and we are not even aware of how much we are struggling to carry around. We can also feel powerless to deal with what we have. These are some tips to keep less on your mind, and to aim for a clearer and sharper mind.

Make A Decision for Each Issue

For each issue that occurs, examine it and then decide what, if anything that you can do. For each issue that comes into your mind, you could:

  • Do Nothing. Some of our worries about other people are beyond our control. Some are things that have not materialised yet. In this case there is nothing we can do. Thinking / worrying about it does not help, so there is no need to pursue it further. Feel free to let go of it completely.
  • Do it Straight-away. If it is really urgent, or really quick, do it straight away then you can get it out of the way. For example, if you have dirty pots lying on the floor, you can go and clean them in two minutes, then you don’t have to think about them for the rest of the evening (or get nagged by your wife e.t.c…)
  • Make a Plan to Deal with it at a certain time. We can’t deal with everything at the same time, nor is it efficient. If we have a work related issue, but it in a box for when you return to work. Maybe you need to speak to someone, and until then there is nothing that you can do.

The fundamental point is that everything that comes our way, we carefully analyse the best way and best time of dealing with it. It’s like we have an inbox in our mind, but, we try to keep our inbox clear by either dealing with it straight away or putting it in folder (work, relationships) A folder to be dealt with at the appropriate time.

Quite often, we have things going around in our mind which we half heartedly deal with, but don’t resolve. We have many things which are nagging at our attention, but, we don’t deal with them straight away. With this method, we can be clearer about when we are going to deal with things.

When we have this clarity, we can be much more focused and at peace withourselves.

Each thought is hopeless and useless
When I am in my unclear mind.
Each thought is prosperous and generous
When I am in my clear mind.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

Pay No Attention to the Speculations of the Mind

Often the mind creates imaginary problems. It speculates on people’s motives and attitudes towards us, even on the flimsiest of evidence we build up fearful situations. These mental speculations are usually wrong, but, they can take up a lot of negative energy and make our mind feel cluttered.

Don’t Take Problems Which are Not Yours

We need to empathise and offer support with friends and family. But, we have to tread a careful line to make sure we don’t take on problems which are not our own. If we waste energy worrying about problems which are not our own, it will be never ending, as we can’t even solve them.

Don’t Feel Guilty

” If you want to transform
Your life radically
Then immediately give up
Your false sense of teeming guilt. ”

– Sri Chinmoy (2)

What has happened in the past is gone. There is nothing we can do about it. Feeling guilty for past mistakes won’t help rectify them; however, it will burden us down. If we make a resolution to do the right thing, this is the best approach.

We can definitely keep our minds clearer. We have to be willing to let go of problems, and deal with things at the appropriate time. Either we need to relax or deal with a problem until there is nothing more we can do.

Meditation

” Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly. So don’t worry about clear mind: it is always there. When thinking comes, behind it is clear mind. When thinking goes, there is only clear mind.”

Zen Master Seung Sahn

Remember we always have a clear mind, it is just that sometimes it gets clouded by thoughts. But, by detaching ourselves from thoughts we can regain our clear mind.

Photo top by Tejvan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries – at top of Glastonbury Tor.

(1) Excerpt from Ten Thousand Flower-Flames, Part 12 by Sri Chinmoy
(2) Excerpt From Ten Thousand Flower-Flames, Part 40 by Sri Chinmoy

The Power of Giving

I rarely get inspiration from TV. At best, it is a bit of occasional light relief and relaxation through good comedies. But, yesterday there was an interesting programme on BBC about How To Live A Simple Life. A church of England Vicar, Peter Owen Jones, went on week long travel living according to the philosophy of St Francis Of Assisi. This meant owning no possessions or money but relying on the goodwill of strangers for food / shelter and travel.

St Francis of Assisi philosophy was radical to say the least. He felt this lifestyle was the best way to live the spirit of the Gospels. To give up material possessions, makes one dependent on other people. Our ego hates this because we like to be self-sufficient; the idea of relying on the good will of strangers is difficult. There is also tremendous uncertainty. It requires faith, detachment from difficulties and a positive attitude to look for the good in humanity.

St Francis taught that this lifestyle has many benefits. It gave people the opportunity to give. When we selflessly give to others we can get great joy. By begging for food, the wandering mendicant learns to humble his pride. It is also an opportunity to connect with people in a meaningful way. If we are self-sufficient we can easily ignore other people. We can drive past in our comfortable air-conditioned car. But, when we are reliant on the good will of others it forces us to make friends with strangers. We may meet with well meaning rejection, but, we can also find and appreciate the good will of others whom we otherwise would have met.

I don’t have any inspiration to start following the life of St Francis (though I admire him deeply).  But, it nevertheless did raise some thought-provoking ideas.

The Joy of Giving.

It was heart-warming to see the genuine joy strangers got from giving. (A cynic will argue the presence of TV cameras offered an extra motivation for goodwill.) But, that aside, I think people were genuinely operating from their heart. It is also giving without expectation of reward. When we give to a stranger we may never meet again, we are giving without condition.

Of course, we don’t have to wait for a wandering Franciscan monk in order to be able to give (they aren’t exactly very common in Oxford). We can give where-ever we are. Even the poorest can offer a smile and expression of good-will to those who we meet. This in itself can mean a lot. It also means considering the well being of others, and how we can be of service to them.

Also, when giving we have to make sure we are giving with the right motives. Is it for the reward of name and fame or because of an inner prompting? We should feel giving is its own reward.

Fear of Strangers.

I think in us all, we have a fear of the unknown. At the same time our inner nature, instinctively wants to feel connected / empathise with other people, to offer food / shelter to others is an almost instinctive reaction. It was interesting to see this play between the two forces.

I couldn’t help think of whether I would have given to a dishevelled wanderer who claimed to be without money? My instinctive reaction is to ignore beggars, because I tend to assume they are professional beggars – giving to them may be not the best form of charity.

I think you can get a feeling whether a person is sincere or not – whether he is sincerely in need. Hopefully, I would have felt the vicar’s sincerity. But, if I was in a rush, I could have easily gone into defense mode and rushed past head down. It is perhaps understandable if people ignore others. But, it is a shame.

Self-Sufficiency.

If we have a feeling of self-sufficiency we can easily have an attitude of haughtiness, pride and even disdain for others. Often the ego aims for self-sufficiency, but, this is not desirable. It is good to be willing to give to others. But, it is also important to be willing to receive without feeling bad. Some people are very good at giving but too proud to receive.

He mistakenly feels
That what others have to offer him
Is of no value.
In the name of self-sufficiency
He is just riding his own ego-horse.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

What is Important in Life?

In life it is easy to get stuck in a rut. We get on an escalator of money, career and family. We move in a certain circle around certain values. But, is this what we want? Is this the most fulfilling way. I love the idea of placing yourself in radically different environments to see life from a different perspective. I admire the vicar – he must be in his 50s. It is no mean feat to give up all creature comforts and make yourself reliant on the good will of others. (even if he does have a TV crew for backup) 🙂

Related

(1) Excerpt from Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, Part 18 by Sri Chinmoy

Photo by Pavitrata, Sri Chinmoy Center Galleries

Thinking of Others

lakedistrict

Instead of thinking
Of everyone,
Just love everyone.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

I was reading some aphorisms in a book when I came across this short poem, and it hit me like a proverbial metaphysical sledgehammer (whatever that might be) over the head. It made me realise how I waste too much time thinking of others.

We all have a tendency to think of others a lot. We sometimes remember their good qualities and how they helped us. But, unfortunately, we tend to think about how others have aggrieved us or let us down or how they are far from perfect. When we think of others, we can’t help judging them. When we are judging people we are not loving them. Love is not love when we spend all the time ruminating over their imperfections. As the immortal bard said with poetic brilliance.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:

– William Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Avoiding Speculation

One of the most dangerous characteristics of our mind / thought process is to engage in speculation over potential outcomes. Our mind can come up with fantastic speculations, often fearing the worst outcome / worst motive of others. When we let the mind run riot, our thinking can gradually become divorced from reality; we can start assigning motives and false ideas about friends and families. This can be the cause for deep misunderstanding. (See: How to avoid misunderstanding) This is a good reason to spend less time thinking / speculating.

How To Love Others

What does it mean to love others? Perhaps it is hard to say, if the poets struggle, how can we write about love adequately? But, I think we can more easily say what real love is not. If our love is conditional, if we expect certain things to be reciprocated, this is just emotional attachment (See: difference between love and emotional dependence). Love is not judging the person with our critical mind. It is not about getting angry with someone because they are falling below our expected standards. We could say love is an instinctive emotion / quality; it is only that love often gets clouded with the darkness of our mind and thoughts. If we can avoid clouding our opinions with negativity, then naturally we will be offering our good will to others.

It is said that we hate whom we really wish to love. Hate is just blocking the natural flowing nature of love. If we remove barriers such as hate, then we can love others spontaneously and unconditionally.

Practical Steps To Take

Don’t Brood. When we brood, we inevitably spend our time thinking, (rarely positive) thoughts. Rather than brood, it is much more worthwhile to move forward, to do something positive. If we spend time with other people in a positive activity, we haven’t got time to brood over our inner thoughts – nursing minor grievances and feelings of being hard done to.

Don’t Think anything you wouldn’t say aloud. This is a bit of a challenge. Analyse your thoughts that come through your mind; would you be embarrassed to speak them out aloud in front of other people? We shouldn’t feel thoughts are not important because only we can hear them. They are important – they determine our mood, they affect the energy we offer to other people. We can choose whether to send good will or send our judgemental thoughts. There is a big difference between the two.

To some extent our thoughts will create outer circumstances. If we are constantly thinking negative thoughts about other people, it will inevitable create outer difficulties in our relationship with other people.

Thinking of Others Before Ourselves

One thing we often are told to do is to think of others before ourselves. What this implies is that we consider their needs / welfare; how can we help / serve others. This encourages us to be self-giving and selfless. It encourages us to offer good will to others. It doesn’t mean we just sit thinking of them. This is a practical implementation of love. When we put others before ourself, we are expanding our sense of self and becoming less selfish.

Further Reading

Photo: Suswara, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries. (Monks Cave, Kirkstone Pass, Lake District)

1) Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees vol 31 by Sri Chinmoy

How To Change Yourself For the Better

It is often said that human nature is as stubborn as a mule. It is said, you can’t change the spots on a Dalmatian, nor can you change the stubbornness of the human mind. But, change is not only possible, it is inevitable at some stage in our evolution. To change ourselves is certainly the greatest challenge that we can take up, it is also the most rewarding activity that we can do.

How To Change?

We Need to Want To Change.

We have to feel the necessity of changing our nature. If we don’t want to change, how can we expect the universe to do it for us when we are sleeping in the land of nod? If we understand the benefits of changing, half the battle is won. This is essentially a choice to be happy rather than unhappy. If we cling to jealousy, despair and self-pity we will only bring unhappiness onto ourselves. If we wish to be genuinely happy, we have to understand the necessity of overcoming our weakness and undivine qualities.

The Inner Cry

We can’t change human nature with a proud and haughty attitude. When we inwardly cry for our nature’s transformation it becomes possible. To inwardly cry for a better life, is to sincerely reject our wrong thoughts, and wrong state of mind. The inner cry is never an ostentatiously display of emotion. It is a private aspiration, it is our real humility coming to the fore. When we inwardly cry for change, we let go of our pride and self-sufficiency. It is in this state that we will feel sweetness and softness; we will see the futility of our self-imposed lofty pride and unhappiness.

Persistence and Determination

Many people know what to do,
But few care how to do,
And fewer still dare to do.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

We cannot change human nature overnight. We need persistence. We need to constantly reject the onset of negative thoughts as often as they come to us. We need to remember constantly what we want to change into. As soon as we start taking the wrong approach we need to check ourselves and put us back on track.

Play Tricks

If all fails, we can play tricks on ourselves. Even if we are insincere we can smile at others. We can try to offer something to other people. We may feel that we are being insincere, and we don’t really mean it. But, it is much better to offer an insincere smile than a sincere growl. We may start off with insincerity, but, we may end up believing our own tricks. Our insincere smile will turn into a sincere and genuine happiness.

Don’t Brood.

The worst stumbling block to change is to brood on our shortcomings, limitations and misdeeds. Our mind has remarkable capacity to heighten and magnify our problems. Before we know it, a small problem has magnified into the pinnacle of despair. However, this is only strengthening our ego; it is only strengthening our weaknesses and problems. It is always better to be active, to talk, to do something positive. When we are in a negative frame of mind it is not the time to be silent and lethargic.

Don’t Let Your Pride Hold You Back.

Often part of us wants to change, but, there is a part of us which consciously or subconsciously wants to hold on to the undivine part of us. There is a subtle pride in maintaining our grimness, our misery. We feel that to be happy is to humble our ego. The problem is we come to identify ourselves with this part of us which is holding us back. If we see our own folly it becomes easier to let go of it. Again the key is we need to want to change.

Be Selfless.

It may be difficult to change for ourselves, but, it is easier to change when we think of others. If we love people we will want to offer something positive and not something negative which holds them back and makes them suffer too.

Related

(1) Excerpt from Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, Part 151

photo: Pranlobha, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

Tips for Meditation

Recently, I offered a few meditation exercises. For those interested in meditation, these are a few practical tips that I have felt worked for me during the past 11 years of meditating every day.

Great Power in Group Meditation.

Meditation is about consciousness. If other people are aspiring to the same meditative consciousness it becomes easier for you to be receptive to it. If you are  in New York Times Square, meditation will feel practically impossible. Of course, when we are very advanced, we will have the ability to meditate anywhere, but, in the beginning we should take any help we can get. In the beginning we will make more progress by meditating in sacred spaces and with others who are experienced in meditation.

Feel Thoughts as Separate from Yourself.

In the beginning it is very difficult to stop thoughts coming. But, you can feel thoughts as separate from yourself. Feel that each thought is coming from outside, and you can be like a gatekeeper allowing or stopping them. For a while, thoughts will keep coming into your mind. But, when you start to feel thoughts are separate to your real existence, they lose half their power. It is this feeling of separation from your thoughts that enables you to finally silence the mind.

It is not Like Turning on a Light Switch.

Meditation is a gradual process. You can’t expect instant enlightenment. It requires constant vigilance and practise. But, sometimes when you least expect it, you will be able to go much deeper than ever before.

Soulful Music

Meditation is a sacred activity. It is an awareness of a divine consciousness. Anything that turns the mind to loftier thoughts and experiences will help us in our meditation. We need to feel an aspiration to grow into something more fulfilling and illumining. Soulful music or writings by Spiritual Masters and great seekers can give us that inspiration to delve deep within.

Try a Different Place

We are used to living and identifying with the mind. The nature of the mind is to think, judge and separate. These qualities of the mind are the opposite to true meditation, so if you have difficulty quietening the mind, try focusing on the heart. You have to put your whole attention and concentration on this place in the centre of your chest. Try to feel that your whole existence has become your heart.

Don’t Judge Your Meditation

It is easy to become frustrated that our meditation is not progressing as we would like. Don’t hold onto expectations of certain experiences, concentrate on being in the present moment without judgement. If we are drawn to meditation every day, this alone is a good sign. Don’t give up just because one morning it was difficult; just try again at a more conducive time.

“When you meditate, please do not expect anything either from yourself or from God. You will be able to make the fastest progress if you do not expect anything from your meditation.”

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

Related

Ref:

(1) Concentration, Meditation – Yoga of Sri Chinmoy

Self Improvement Tips

To make spiritual progress, certain qualities are indispensable. It is not enough to buy a few books and find the right spiritual path. You can surround yourself with the best wisdom and enlightened souls, but if we cling to our pride, stubbornness or a distorted view of reality, our progress can be worse than useless.

These are some Qualities essential for Self Improvement.

Honesty With Yourself.

There is a saying ‘The Truth Hurts’. In one sense the truth will hurt our ego or pride. But, to make progress it is essential we can be honest with ourselves. This means we are perfectly clear on our own inner motives. We may be able to fool other people we are acting selflessly, we may even be able to fool ourselves, but, if we can fool ourselves how can we make progress?

“Try to make yourself honest. If you become honest, then rest assured there will be one rascal less in the world.”

– Thomas Carlyle

For example, maybe we are unhappy with someone close to us. If we are honest, we will recognise that part of us is jealous of their success and / or feel insecure that we are no longer so valuable. However, the nature of our mind is that we tend to ignore our own emotions of jealousy and concentrate on justifying why they are bad and holding us back. We might not like to admit we are jealous because we know we shouldn’t harbour such feelings. But, until we admit we are feeling jealous we will be unable to overcome it.

Don’t Practise Endless Self-Justification

Self Justification is an almost endless habit of human nature. It stems from the desire to protect our status, social recognition and ego. When things are going wrong, we try to blame other people, external situations, anything but take responsibility for our own mistakes or wrong attitude.

If there is a real misunderstanding, then clearing it up can be helpful. The problem comes when we expend so much energy on justifying our wrong actions we almost come to believe we haven’t done anything wrong and so we effectively perpetuate our wrong attitudes and thoughts.

I am at once a fool and a rogue
When I blame others
For my own misdeeds.

– Sri Chinmoy (1)

This is closely related to being honest with ourselves.

Willingness to Change.

The nature of the mind is that it always likes to think it is right. Whatever idea / thoughts come into the mind, we always think we are right and everyone else is wrong. This can also breed a sense of self-righteousness and moral superiority.

We have to be very careful with out mental judgements. When we judge a situation or other people, we have to be aware we are only seeing part of the situation / part of the problem. The mind latches onto a few mistakes, but we need to remember the good qualities of the person. If we use our heart more we would be much less judgemental.

We also have to bear in mind, we may be wrong, or at least partly wrong. And where we are wrong, we have to be willing to change. To cling to misplaced ideas just because we don’t like to admit we are wrong, may have a place in the political world, but, in the spiritual world, it is just self-defeating.

“The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.”

~William Blake

Be Careful of the Ego.

One of the main aspects of self-improvement is diminishing the importance of our egoism. At the start we cannot eliminate our ego completely. But, we can be aware of the ego’s demands for name and fame. We try to be less influenced by the ego and be more humble. But, the ego is tricky,  instead of being proud of worldly accomplishments, the ego can subtly become proud of its spiritual achievements – ‘O how spiritual I am! We may not say it outwardly, but, part of us is feeling that. In a way a the spiritual ego is much worse than an ordinary ego. When we become proud of our spirituality / religion, we become self-righteousness with a subtle feeling of moral superiority. We have to be very careful of the ego’s emotions and intentions and make sure it doesn’t sneak in an unexpected guise.

Patience and Persistence.

For thousands of years, man has been trying to perfect his human nature. Some spiritual paths suggest the cycle of perfection can take hundreds or thousands of human incarnations. Whether we believe in reincarnation or not, we have to admit that transforming human nature is a long and gradual path. Of course, it is not all difficulty and problems; it can be very rewarding to make progress, but at the same time we have to have patience and a steady perseverance. There is nothing to be gained by an impatient desire to expect instant perfection.

Cheerfulness.

When we are happy we can make progress. If we cling to unhappiness and dissatisfaction, progress will remain a far cry.  Cheerfulness requires a good balance in life. It involves having a childlike attitude. Sometimes, part of us feels attracted to suffering; we subtly hold onto a feeling of being wronged, suffering. This can be very pervasive and difficult to get rid of. But, we need to be cheerful.

“For joy and not for sorrow earth was made.”

– Sri Aurobindo, Savitri

Related

(1) Excerpt from Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, Part 222 by Sri Chinmoy

Meditation Exercises

There are a variety of different meditation exercises we can try. But, the important thing is not the number or type of meditation exercises that we learn – but how we practise them. The essential qualities of meditation we need to develop are:

  • Intensity. If meditate half-heartedly, we will struggle to meditate.
  • One Pointed Concentration. However, we meditate, we have to feel at the time nothing else is important. Nothing else should come to bother us.
  • Aspiration. This is the desire to dive deep within and experience a more divine consciousness. If we feel this need for real peace and joy, we will have the intensity and discipline to meditate.
  • Regularity. Meditation is an art. We need a daily discipline to improve our ability to detach from the mind.
  • Ability to detach from thoughts.

“When you meditate, what you actually do is to enter into a calm or still, silent mind. We have to be fully aware of the arrival and attack of thoughts. That is to say, we shall not allow any thought, divine or undivine, good or bad, to enter into our mind. Our mind should be absolutely silent. Then we have to go deep within; there we have to observe our real existence. “

– Sri Chinmoy

When giving meditation classes in Oxford, I tell people about different meditation exercises, Sri Chinmoy has written about. Other paths, will have their own variations and types of meditation exercises. However, I personally find these three meditation exercises very effective. Often people report that they have good results from these.

Three Simple Meditation Exercises

1. Concentration on A Candle

Basically, we put all our attention and focus onto a small tip of the candle. We exclude everything else from our awareness. With this concentration we can make great progress with meditation. See – Simple To Learn Concentration Exercise

2. One-Four-Two Breathing.

Many forms of meditation use observance of your breathe. This is a simple, but, powerful exercise which can absorb your attention and enable you to go deep within. In addition, our breathing can have a profound impact on our state of mind. I often use this exercise myself, because I find it very helpful.

“The rhythm of your breathing is most important. If you breathe in for one second or for one repetition of the name of the Supreme, then you should hold the breath for four seconds or four repetitions. Then, when you breathe out, it should be for two seconds or the time it takes you to repeat the name of the Supreme twice. The breathing should be done softly and silently. When you breathe in and out, you should do it so gently that, even if there were a thread right in front of your nose, your breathing would not move it.”  (- Sri Chinmoy, Pranayama. Read More)

3. Meditation on the Heart

It is in the heart where we find it easiest to distance ourselves from our own mind and own thoughts. The nature of the mind is to think, judge and separate. The nature of the heart is to feel oneness, love and identification with a vaster consciousness.

We can just concentrate on our own heart beat and try to imagine our whole sense of being is located in the heart. If you find helpful you could visualise a beautiful garden or light within your heart centre. Try this Meditation on the Heart Lotus Video

Related

photo top Daria, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.

Dealing With Unexpected Events

(An active volcano – New Zealand – from www.worldharmonyrun.org)

In April, I travel to Jamaica, Queens, New York for a meditation retreat with my friends in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. It is a great opportunity to forget work, and the usual business concerns and spend time meditating and other spiritual activities. As I was preparing to return home, I heard news of flights cancelled and an erupting Volcano. My first thoughts were – that will soon pass, I mean who has ever heard of airplane flights been cancelled because of erupting volcanoes? But, as it got closer to my departure day, it dawned on me that Mother Nature is never bound by our fixed routines and expectations.

Suddenly all your plans, routines and expectations are tossed aside and you are left with a very different experience. I was fortunate, in that I had a nice place I could continue to stay and many friends around me were in the same boat, so to speak. But, the nature of our mind is to dislike any disruptions to our plans and routines; and the worst is not knowing what if anything will happen.

What can we do when our world is turned upside down?

Keep Things In Perspective

Not being able to get to work on time, is not the end of the world. Temporary material discomforts will make us appreciate a return to normality. If we can keep things in perspective it will avoid unnecessary despair. Even the worst experiences are not for ever. It is even more important to avoid speculating on an apocalyptic turn of events. Sometimes things look bleak in the present time, but, turn out to be less bad than feared.

Of course, when you’ve spent three hours trying to get through to Virgin Atlantic on a cold pay phone, on some New York side street, it’s much easier to talk of detachment and keeping things in perspective than actually practise it. But, nevertheless, we do need to try and be detached.

Comfort and Progress

Sometimes discomfort can bring unexpected qualities forward. It can give people opportunity for self-giving and concern for others. Severe challenges give us an opportunity to make progress by forcing us out of a comfort zone. When life is easy and predictable we can become passive and more easily bored. I’m not saying I would ever choose to be stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no means of getting home. But, when difficult experiences come, they can be turned to a useful and beneficial experience so long as we don’t panic and concentrate on the negatives.

An unavoidable necessity
Can quite often be
An unexpected opportunity.

by Sri Chinmoy (1)

Remain Cheerful.

Don’t feel guilty or frustrated about something you have no control over. It’s tempting to start blaming airline staff for somehow being unable to control the eruption of a volcano. An event like a volcanic eruption merely shows that there will always be things in life over which we have absolutely no control. We can’t stop a volcano, we can only stop our depressed thoughts.

If we can’t return home because of some event beyond your control, it is absurd to start feeling guilty, even if we have an unsympathetic boss.

If we can remain cheerful and positive in a crisis, it will be a source of strength to others. Often thinking of others, is the best way to stay positive and cheerful ourselves. It prevents us becoming too introspective.
Related

(1) Excerpt from Ten Thousand Flower-Flames, Part 93