The ego is that part in us which feeds off praise, compliments and success. When we live in the ego we are inevitably subject to feelings of superiority / inferiority, pride and worthlessness, success and failure. If we want to avoid these negative emotions we need to transcend the ego. If we can transcend the ego, we will find that people are instinctively more attracted to us, even though we are no longer trying to impress. It may seem a great paradox, yet, limiting the role of our ego can make a radical difference to our lives.
These are some factors which can reduce the power of the Ego.
1. Don’t Try to impress
Don’t speak about your own achievements. Don’t drop names of great people you have met. Avoid forcing your accomplishments and success into the conversation. If you have been successful in accumulating wealth, try to keep quiet about it. All these factors may impress your own ego, but, you can guarantee they will have little impact on other people.
2. Be aware of False Modesty.
Sometimes when we say. “O I’m absolutely hopeless”. Actually what we are wanting is for people to respond. ‘O no your not, your really good.” Humility means that we don’t take excessive pride in our achievements, but, it also means we don’t exaggerate our failings in the hope of gaining sympathy.
3. Be Careful of Flattery.
We need to be careful about receiving praise, in some ways it can be as difficult as receiving criticism. The problem is that the ego likes receiving praise and so we can easily become addicted to being flattered. Don’t seek out people who are keen to flatter us, as this is only feeding the ego. Also, be wary of flattering other people in the hope that they will return the compliment.
4. Don’t use your Religion / Spirituality to Impress.
It is a mistake to feel that the practise of a religion / spiritual path gives us a moral superiority over other people. If we feel any superiority we are missing the whole point of spirituality. Spirituality is about a feeling of oneness not of proving that one path is better than others. This can be one of the most insidious types of ego. This is because when we wrap up the ego in a sense of moral superiority, we can easily trick ourselves into thinking we are reducing the ego, when actually we are strengthening it.
5. Be Aware of the extended Ego.
Ego, is not just about feeling we are better than others. Our Ego can also be expressed via national / religious feeling. When we feel a pride or superiority in our religion / nation, there is still the same problem of ego but, it is expressed through an extended sense of reality. This sense of superiority / pride is just as damaging as if it was contained to ourselves. However, we can feel that because it is not directly related to ourselves, somehow there is no ego involved.
6. Don’t Speak badly of Others.
Quite often, when we speak ill of others there is a subtle attempt to make ourselves look better. We may not explicitly say it, but, when we point to someone’s shortcomings we imply that we don’t have these, and therefore we are much better than them. The important thing here is the motive. Be very vigilant; what is your inner motive for criticising someone else? If it is to make you feel / look better, be very careful. The irony of course is that when we criticise someone, often we have the same imperfections ourselves, it is just that we find it easier to see them in other people.
7. What is Your Motivation for Doing Something?
If nobody knew that you had done it, would you still do the action with the same intensity? Can you work without expecting reward and praise? If you can do things selflessly with no desire for people to find out, this is a sign you do not give importance to the ego. If you only do things in the hope of praise, then you are working to satisfy the ego. The sad thing is that if you really work selflessly, at some point, your efforts will receive much greater recognition because people will come to also value the selfless motivation behind the action. Try doing some things but not let anybody no about it. In the NT, this is what Jesus meant when he said. “and with you left hand.
8. Don’t rely on Your Physical Appearance to Impress.
If you rely on your physical beauty to impress this is definitely coming from the ego. This is not to see beauty is bad thing, far from it. But, real beauty is heightened by modesty and the absence of ego. Avoid paying excessive interest to your physical looks.
To reduce our ego, we have to give great importance to our thoughts and motivation behind our actions. We have to be very strict with ourselves and work out why we are doing something. To reduce the ego, requires great vigilence, we need to reflect on each action and motivation. However, to reduce the influence of the ego, is of great value, it is the key to achieving a sense of inner peace.
If you have any other tips for reducing the ego, I would be interested in hearing them!
Tejvan,
That’s a great list. Thank you for sharing a number of techniques that have been very effective in your experience.
I just wrote an article on the same subject. It’s been linked to in this post.
Some of the most effective techniques I’ve discovered thus far including surrendering attachments, merging with everything, consciously recognizing the ego and choosing to let it go, maintaining a continuous state of present awareness, and choosing to maintain a connection to the Divine Oneness.
I really appreciate your additional methods you’ve shared here, as well as this entire site you’ve created. It feels very peaceful and still. Your creation reflects your inner state of being.
Namaste,
Ariel
Good work.
all enlightened masters have the same message “come back to you home, towards your inner source from where this world has originated.
i would like to bring in your notice one beautifukl website which contains messages of many masters like Osho, Buddha, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, Ramakrishna http://www.messagefrommasters.com
the site provides link to download books of enlightened masters and books of Osho at
http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Ebooks/Osho_Books.htm
enjoy the divine nectar
love
shiva
This is a great weblink, I’ve been looking for information on the ‘ego’ and why and how to reduce it.
Very useful.
quick message for A Singh you mentioned
‘The biggest problem is that I realize that I have behaved under the influence of my ego only after I have already done it. If only I would realize it right at the time when I am doing it.’
As a suggestion a great way to realize ‘in the moment’ is to make yourself consciously aware of all the choices you make no matter how small or big, not only is this a very powerful exercise but it also provides quite a lot person enlightenment. It does take practice though and although at the moment you comment you are only aware afterwards, then at least you are conscious and aware afterwards, which is a step towards being more conscious any-way.
Hope this make sense and help.
Best wishes,
Stephen.
Hello Everybody,
I’m quite new to this website, but find it very useful and would like to ask a few questions.
I’ve recently (4mths aog) started practicing yoga and meditation on a daily basis for many different reasons and have been on a spiritual journey for sometime. I can certainly relate to some of the techniques mentioned above, ie detachment and the power this has.
Most recently I’ve wanted to learn more about my true self, identity and the reasons for reducing my ego and being in touch with the self.
Could anyone recommend any good books to read on these specific subjects, I would be most greatful.
Namaste,
Stephen.
this is very mind blowing site as well as mind-blasting.
u gave me a knowing look in every aspects of ife.
wonderful.
thnx.
Dear Stephen
If you want to know more in depth about Ego and human mind,please visit this link and listen to OSHO discourses(http://www.oshoworld.com/discourses/audio_eng.asp?Cat=B)
Here you can start downloading the book of wisdom and start listening.Believe me it is worth listening them.
What about the poem ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling?
I’ve found this to be an inspiration too.
I just enter the state of counciouness and innerlife, it’s all good inside but thanks for helping us in this transformation this Website really lays it like it is specially the ego thru suffering something good comes from it.
What u ought to be… And what u ought not to be… An excellent Advise…. Great post… 🙂
Great post.
By surrendering our ego to Mother Kali, who represents the Divine mother Nature. When one realises and fully opens up in complete trust of Lord mother’s nurturing. When the ego is slayed completely, Ma Kali nutures and protects us with her grace.
I would be interested to know, in the context of business relations, how do you deal with the egotistic when trying to do business with that person? How do you win them over?
Thanks for some insight, can’t argue with any of it. Personally I’ve been working on my seeking approval and people pleasing. I thought it was nice to do these things at first but more recently see them as unhealthy ways of relating, (imho) it is another form of ego.
Nice post, Tejvan
I was a bit confused when i saw your comment that you dont think the image relates to the post, because the first thing i thought when i saw it was wow thats quite a good image for the post, i thought it was a concious decision of yours that it relates to the post.
The way i see it is the leaves and branches, that have grown over a period of time, are blocking you from seeing the light of the sun.
The sun represents you without the ego, and the leaves represent how we see reality, filters as such, from past experiences that have left an imprint on our ego, hence we see the different colours.
The leaves have grown from the branches, without the branches no leaves, so the branches represent the past experiences.
So by first noticing the filters blocking you from your higher self you start to look deeper and finding the source of these filters, the experiences in the past, we can remove them. Showing us the light.
After writing that i thought hmm, maybe its a bad analogy, however dont see yourself as the tree, picture your self as walking around under the tree, in the darkness, under the thickness of the leaves and branches.
what do you think?
Thanks for all of this.It would be a great help for me as I suffer from the aftermath of ego.I guess your tips would put me back into being.I guess I understand now what all of it means a little at a time.Hope I would be back as a better ME. 🙂 Thanks once again bro.
In our lives, how do we successfully balance between our mind and our higher self so that the ego-mind does not dominate?
It is said that we live our “real” lives in our mind, what is the limit to reducing the ego mind? HOw do we know how much of the inner being to use and how much of our mind is needed?
Therefore leading up to the main question, how do we successfully balance between our mind and our higher self so that the ego- mind does not dominate?
@Kathy
The tips in the post are great advice also just what i personally think:
By monitoring your thoughts, mostly your judgements/assumptions and finding out why you think that way, most likely due to past experience.
Through doing so you break down the thought-forms that have had a grip on you, and led to your curent frame of mind.
I beleive you do not need to balance, by you conciously breaking these thought/(ego?) forms, it allows cracks for your higher self to shine through and give you guidance ??
I think you are always getting guidance from your higher-self you just have to get rid of all the noise so you can listen.
Love the bit about beauty – as a rapidly wrinkling middle aged woman, I love the idea of not having to succumb to all that pressure to look youthful. Hooray!