The ego is that part in us which feeds off praise, compliments and success. When we live in the ego we are inevitably subject to feelings of superiority / inferiority, pride and worthlessness, success and failure. If we want to avoid these negative emotions we need to transcend the ego. If we can transcend the ego, we will find that people are instinctively more attracted to us, even though we are no longer trying to impress. It may seem a great paradox, yet, limiting the role of our ego can make a radical difference to our lives.
These are some factors which can reduce the power of the Ego.
1. Don’t Try to impress
Don’t speak about your own achievements. Don’t drop names of great people you have met. Avoid forcing your accomplishments and success into the conversation. If you have been successful in accumulating wealth, try to keep quiet about it. All these factors may impress your own ego, but, you can guarantee they will have little impact on other people.
2. Be aware of False Modesty.
Sometimes when we say. “O I’m absolutely hopeless”. Actually what we are wanting is for people to respond. ‘O no your not, your really good.” Humility means that we don’t take excessive pride in our achievements, but, it also means we don’t exaggerate our failings in the hope of gaining sympathy.
3. Be Careful of Flattery.
We need to be careful about receiving praise, in some ways it can be as difficult as receiving criticism. The problem is that the ego likes receiving praise and so we can easily become addicted to being flattered. Don’t seek out people who are keen to flatter us, as this is only feeding the ego. Also, be wary of flattering other people in the hope that they will return the compliment.
4. Don’t use your Religion / Spirituality to Impress.
It is a mistake to feel that the practise of a religion / spiritual path gives us a moral superiority over other people. If we feel any superiority we are missing the whole point of spirituality. Spirituality is about a feeling of oneness not of proving that one path is better than others. This can be one of the most insidious types of ego. This is because when we wrap up the ego in a sense of moral superiority, we can easily trick ourselves into thinking we are reducing the ego, when actually we are strengthening it.
5. Be Aware of the extended Ego.
Ego, is not just about feeling we are better than others. Our Ego can also be expressed via national / religious feeling. When we feel a pride or superiority in our religion / nation, there is still the same problem of ego but, it is expressed through an extended sense of reality. This sense of superiority / pride is just as damaging as if it was contained to ourselves. However, we can feel that because it is not directly related to ourselves, somehow there is no ego involved.
6. Don’t Speak badly of Others.
Quite often, when we speak ill of others there is a subtle attempt to make ourselves look better. We may not explicitly say it, but, when we point to someone’s shortcomings we imply that we don’t have these, and therefore we are much better than them. The important thing here is the motive. Be very vigilant; what is your inner motive for criticising someone else? If it is to make you feel / look better, be very careful. The irony of course is that when we criticise someone, often we have the same imperfections ourselves, it is just that we find it easier to see them in other people.
7. What is Your Motivation for Doing Something?
If nobody knew that you had done it, would you still do the action with the same intensity? Can you work without expecting reward and praise? If you can do things selflessly with no desire for people to find out, this is a sign you do not give importance to the ego. If you only do things in the hope of praise, then you are working to satisfy the ego. The sad thing is that if you really work selflessly, at some point, your efforts will receive much greater recognition because people will come to also value the selfless motivation behind the action. Try doing some things but not let anybody no about it. In the NT, this is what Jesus meant when he said. “and with you left hand.
8. Don’t rely on Your Physical Appearance to Impress.
If you rely on your physical beauty to impress this is definitely coming from the ego. This is not to see beauty is bad thing, far from it. But, real beauty is heightened by modesty and the absence of ego. Avoid paying excessive interest to your physical looks.
To reduce our ego, we have to give great importance to our thoughts and motivation behind our actions. We have to be very strict with ourselves and work out why we are doing something. To reduce the ego, requires great vigilence, we need to reflect on each action and motivation. However, to reduce the influence of the ego, is of great value, it is the key to achieving a sense of inner peace.
If you have any other tips for reducing the ego, I would be interested in hearing them!
Thanks a lot… This good advice will help me a lot… I hope my life will become a peaceful…
I have been been trying to find ways to deal with my ego and I found that a good way to help yourself is: to do good things for others, but expect nothing in return (not even a “thank you”).
This way even if you cannot reduce your ego at least you will find a way to trick it.
do some charity work or philanthropy. give to someone who needs instead of always expecting to receive and do not expect thank you’s or gratitude, just be happy that you set yourself apart from all the egotistic humans who want only to receive.
it felt rather unexpectedly satisfying and I kind of laugh at my ego every time I remember what I did.
I have been been trying to find ways to deal with my ego and I found that a good way to help yourself is: to do good things for others, but expect nothing in return (not even a “thank youâ€).
This way even if you cannot reduce your ego at least you will find a way to trick it.
do some charity work or philanthropy. give to someone who needs instead of always expecting to receive and do not expect thank you’s or gratitude, just be happy that you set yourself apart from all the egotistic humans who want only to receive.
it felt rather unexpectedly satisfying and I kind of laugh at my ego every time I remember what I did.
Something that helps me separate from my ego is to stop letting words have stigmas.*When I say you, I am meaning I ask myself these questions* If someone comes up to you and says “You’re such a fattie.” How would that make you feel? Unfortuantely, the ego would look up in it’s iPad database, which clearly states every indication of fat you’ve ever seen. In looking at the stigma the public has decided upon, the ego tells you that this hurts your feelings. At this point, we DECIDE whether we want the ego’s opinion or not. That person may have been joking. That person might have wanted to exert a statement that promotes a funny friendship. Fat does not have to be a negative word. We have decided to define words as bad. And if that person was trying to cause a reaction from you, they have no power over you. That is not to be better than them, but it is not succumbing to their desire for an emotional reaction. In the same sense, be clear with what you intend to say, not incubating emotional responses from others. This is not to say we shouldn’t have emotions, on the contrary, we decide what emotions to have- they don’t control us, we control them.
I like this Article because I really want to reduce my EGO. Due to Ego i’m not able to make improvements in me. Now only I have read this article, i think it will help me to reduce my ego.
This is one of the greatest articles I ever read. I was trying to get rid of ego and got the solution. I also believe that being simple may actually control the ego. Isn’t it?
Thank you so much
i wnt 2 anylse myself.whethr i hv ego or not
Really Great Article….
I thought that only Muslims were ordered to reduce their ego!!!
but I see here we people are really very similar to our understanding to “Good” behaviors…
here are some other tips that I read to reduce our ego…
1) accept others’ advice with a smile
2) don’t walk in front of ppl but walk behind them and b happy 2 do that
3) if a poor person invited you for something, reply and accept his/her invitation
4) wear simple clothes
5) eat with simple ppl such as workers, or maids
Resource: “collector of happiness” book for Sheikh Mohammed Mahdi Al-Naraqi
good luck friends 🙂
kalpana…
to analyze yourself you should see if the tips of reducing your ego are difficult to you or not?
for example, if you like to show people that you are great, you should b careful
also, if you feel that you are better than someone else then you should be careful!!! because it is not a good sign…
Hi, i wish to jump in and also say that in a life situation recognizing your own ego showing out, recognizing you did or said something out of ego is a huge break because from that point you are aware of your own self and can assist your self in trying to understand your resaons for acting the way. Ego is not an enemy as much as is a mere lack of understanding who you are in the absence of fear.
I really like this post! Thank you so much because i was able to reflect about life and how to humble. Humility is indeed a virtue we should cultivate within us so that we will be able to achieve inner peace.
I have a big ego myself and that interferes with my sales calls. For example, I think I am a top notch Marketing guy and can’t be making sales calls. This interferes with my business progress.
How do I handle that?
In any case, this post was very helpful. Thanks
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.
After reading this article i got an idea about how to remove ego thinking from my life.
Thankyou
I realy liked this article.. thanks for it! 🙂
Anger n Ego can gradually begin to recede but wht if anger is uncontrollable? One cannot think of taking deep breaths or counting (as in sleep) when one is in the throes of Rage,,,HELP
wonder if one can really control RAGE as it comes without warning
My ego is out of control and is bringing me great unhappiness even though I have every reason to be happy. It is time to bite the bullet and do something about it.
I like point 7. Most of my motivations have been to impress others. that is definitely something that I need to work on.